Hi all , i am jennifer a 20 yrs old transgender woman who have been in the closet for so long . I live in algeria one of if not the most conservative homophobic and transphobic country out there and i really need to come out as soon as possible but if i did i would be dead in less than a minute . My parents are convervative and everyone and everything around here is transphobic . I study in college (a good one) my first year . I’ve suffered a lot for so long i tried to save some money to fly to france (it’s impossible for algerians to have a european visa) but couldn’t 'cause i’m poor as hell i’m still living under my parents i couldn’t find any job i couldn’t come out i tried to sucide multiple times but failed i’m stuck in the middle right now i just don’t know i really don’t know i usually spend my whole day crying all the time i’m really begging for help . Thank you all
I really need help
Hello Jennifer,
My name is Rami (That’s my real name). I too am from Algeria, but I moved to the US over 7 years ago. I am now a US citizen. I have built a life here in the US, a stable job that allows me to live a decent life and support my family back in Algeria, have a few solid friendships, and many other connections. I am gay. I have always been. I too come from a conservative poor background. I grew up religious myself. When I was in my teens, I assumed my gayness was a phase, and thought it would go away on its own at some point. It was not until I graduated from college that I started to realize that being gay is a part of me that will stay with me forever. I stopped being religious (it was a slow process). I met people from different parts of the world and started discovering different cultures and ways of thinking, and I became more accepting of people who were different than me. I worked random jobs at first, because finding a job in Algeria is not easy, especially for fresh graduates. Although I graduated from one of the best Business schools in the country, I never liked Business, so I started working as a Pharmacy Sales Person at first, a job that didn’t pay well but I enjoyed so much nonetheless. I then got a government job, which still didn’t pay enough, but it was something. That’s when I started planning to move to Canada. I took the necessary language tests, and did all the paperwork, and I had connections in Canada (Friends that I still hold dear and have kept in touch with until today), but unfortunately that endeavor ended in failure. I didn’t even qualify for Express Entry. With the help of one of my overseas friends, I secured a work contract in one of the Gulf countries, and I moved there to work and explore the possibility of applying for Asylum in Canada. I was in the process of applying for Asylum (waiting for the final interview at the embassy) when I was luckily selected for the DV lottery to immigrate to the US. It was a life changer. I now call the US home and my depression and anxiety are quite in check, and I’ve been making steady progress in the pursuit of happiness.
The reason I’m sharing my story with you (First time I comment in this forum which I joined based on the recommendation of my therapist, who’s a white Lesbian lady who doesn’t know much about MENA region culture) is to tell you that I was in your shoes in the past, but as long as you do your best, and all you can do is to do your best, there is going to be hope, so do not despair, and take it one step at a time. You’re still young and life will have good and bad in stock for you, but my philosophy is that my years of suffering were not pointless. Those are the years that made me the resilient relatively happy person I am today, and I can now look back and feel proud that I went through that and still survived, without it changing the kind humane person I have always been.
This is a heartfelt testimony from “oueld bladek”. Be strong and let the fight continue!
Rami
Thank you Rami and i am truely sorry for this brief reply, i am not doing well by any means and my situation is way worse than yours back then, not trying to compete. I’m just going to apply for asylum France which is better for me as trans person than the us. I haven’t used this platform maybe for a year and i’m using it now just to reply to your thoughtful and delightful message. Thank you Rami, thank you so very much and i really really do appreciate it. I hope i get my freedom one day too. “Bslama thala fi rohk khoya w ntmanalek ghir lkhir”
Hello Jennifer,
I won’t claim to fully appreciate your pain, but I too felt at some point all hopeless and in despair. Trans people are discriminated against even worse than gays, especially in our corner of the world, but that is true to some point even in the US. Trump’s America is not the perfect place for a trans POC to be, but you’ll meet less narrow-minded jerks depending on where you are in the US. Big cities in blue states such as LA and New York are safe havens for the LGBT community in general and trans people in particular. The US government so far can only deny you the right to have the gender you identify with stated on your passport, and if you have no intention to join the military or play sports at a competitive level, most likely you’ll be fine. I’d say try not to be picky and fixate on France as the only option, because you’ll be limiting yourself by doing that. And try to take baby steps, one step at a time. I am not sure about the process to apply for asylum in France, but in the Canadian case, you’ll have to be outside of your country of citizenship (in this case Algeria) in order to even qualify. That’s why I chose to go and work in the Gulf. Begin with searching and reading about the process and focus on what you can do. I wish you all the luck you need and deserve in your journey.
Hello Rami,
I am so sorry for this brief message again, i’m still so depressed and jaded but i’ll see better days in the near future hopefully. Rami, i wish if i had the same opportunities, i wish if i had the same privelages and support that you had back then and i really love that for you, i am so happy for you that you made it out of this abusive country and now you’re living your happiest life. I know it was so tough for you but my situation is quite different. I come from a poor household with no privelages or anything. I’m good at my study, i’m a college student in a good university here. But you know the miserable state of education here in the country. Just like the GULF was a source of hope and showed you your path, France would be the same for me and the possibilies won’t stop there of course amd from there i can work on any plan i want and it’s very trans friendy, i have my rights and socially protected under the asylum system, i have communities amd arabic queer ones, friends so it would be really ideal for to resettle there and start my life from scratch. Thank you Rami, thank you so very much for your ongoing support, it means a lot to me during those bleak times. Wishing you the very best in your life too.
sorry for what you’re going through you’re not alone in this sorry I see why you’re pressuring on yourself for coming out, being closeted is pretty overwhelming as it is and you don’t deserve to live in a situation like this I won’t tell you that everything will be better if just wated and worked more on yourself although I wish I could tell you that I know how being stuck in a conservative country is like just talk more about that here is a whole community for you you’re not alone best support
And i really do alpreciate being a part of this womderful group of peaple. The sense of a community itself is more than eniugh but you know how it is here. Hope fully i’m leaving my horrible situation soon and i wish the same for anyother person who’s been stuck in the same situation as i i did from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so very much for your concerns all 
hey again please don’t hesitate to open up whenever you felt depressed or pressured the least we can do is listening you’re beloved here
Thank you really. I would love to have some talks with you guys every now then. The same goes to you, don’t hesitate to msg me if you feel like it