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confused!

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well, where do I start? I had a really bad relationship with my father, and then i fell in love with a copy of him; an older man and he ended up raping me. I never told anyone, i even convinced myself that somehow it did not happen, and that it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I got depressed, wanted to kill myself, and then another man appeared. We were the same age, we fell in love and i thought i was happy and then enter lies and the cheating. We broke up and i was totally devastated.

The third man was a devil and he manipulated me in the ugliest ways. My point is i don't get men, i don't get their ways of thinking, their feelings, their body language: it's like i'm with different species. I loved a girl once, we just kissed but it was beautiful. I wish I could find that pure engulfing feeling again with a woman. I've always been attracted to women, i won't lie, and the female body is magical, but i'm afraid i won't be able to find that special person who can make all this absurdity which is my life, disappear.

I feel confused and lost and i need some advices, can you please help me? .

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  • 25-34_f_b_h3_f3
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    My advice would be to start taking care of yourself. I feel like you were deeply hurt and trying to find someone to mend your heart and have made some bad choices as a result. Try to be alone for a while and find yourself. Find something to concentrate on that will boost your confidence, learn something new. Just take the time to heal from within before getting into another relationship.Because only then will you understand your true value and it will show to your significant other. I hope you find this advice helpful, goodluck

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