Start a Discussion Find support & help more people

bisexuality and love

A+ A-

hi, am new here and testing waters:)
am in my mid 30s now, and i know myself to have had so many flings and crushes and loves during my lie, mostly with men and sometimes with women. i have been married for 2 yrs now and expecting a baby soon.
well, given the introduction, as i love my husband and respect him, i have deliberately trained myself not to have my casual flings with men any more, i am saying this because i think it might be the reason (or one of the reasons) which has grown my appetite for women. it's hard to meet female partners with similar interests or i don't have a functional gaydar as you call it, so i hit on female sex workers a couple of times.
i am worried from this growing crave for women, i had it before committing with my husband but again never had the chance in a female relationship. i don't know if i belong to the LGBT community or i am simply a person with a varied taste and great lust that i have always been challenged to tame and suppress.
my partner knows about my same sex preference and he doesn't mind it yet.. since i never got involved with a woman. even if i do get involved, it would mean that i threaten my relationship with the man in my life .

i guess being gay or straight is less confusing. sorry if this is too much personal information.

  • Do you feel that your husband doesn't satisfy you in some ways and that this is why you seek other relationships? And in other relationships are you looking only for physical contact or love as well?

    When you are open to meeting someone, the question becomes about whether or not you are willing to risk your marriage and losing the respect or love from the father of your child. Being a mother changes everything because then it becomes about what your child wants and needs and not necessarily your own wants and needs. A child usually wants stability and a tightly knit family because that gives them a sense of security growing up.

    If you are just seeking sexual pleasure that's one thing, but when you meet others and connect with them in this intimate way there's always the possibility of you falling in love with them.

    Why do you think your husband doesn't mind or get jealous from your same sex preference? Has he ever discussed with you things like threesomes? Does he think it's not possible that you might fall in love and start a serious relationship with a woman?

    Sorry for the personal questions, just trying to understand your situation a bit more.

    Reply to Butterfly
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4

    if you never had a chance with relationships with females maybe its just you wanting something fresh and different in your life so its fine to experiment and see what youre really looking for when it comes to love. if you felt more comfortable with a woman than with a man then its fine but as you say youre married and that comes with its own strings of complications. the other scenario is you try it and you dont like it and you stick with your husband.

    Reply to 6a3miya
    This was helpful! Flag
  • Default-avatar

    my personal opinion, and that's considering you're married to a man who loves you and that you're a mother (or expecting to be), is that you better stick to your small loving family and try hard to love your husband more. Women in the middle east generally tend to expect the husband to always take the first move, while many men would just love the first move to come from their wives. Keep this in mind and focus on loving your husband and your child (expected child)

    Reply to JA
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 17-24_f_f_h3_f3

    I dont think her liking girls has anything to do with her being married to a man and it doesnt mean she should just suppress her desires as A LOT of gay men are married to women and no one seems to be telling them to just stick to their wives and kids bla bla.

    My opinion is that you simply must include your husband on all this if you want it to work otherwise you'll keep feeling either guilty or scared to be caught in the act -of liking someone lol- you know. And if you doesn't accept it well you did your part :P either respect that and ignore your feelings or just go ahead and continue it. Most people would say stop bla bla but I'm just being truthful with you you only have to do 1 part which is being honest with him but you do not have to change anything you don't want to change. Sometimes the "be good" advices are not good enough to make us happy.

    Reply to Delusions
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1

    u are married , and you still looking for ather relashinship sorry to tell you that , this is not a good thing you need to be honest with your husband

    Reply to ayman
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f3

    I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to stay faithful when you feel like your body is betraying you and tugging you in another direction.

    There are bisexuals that are steady, and those who tend to fluctuate. I guess we are both the latter. Question now is if experimenting is 'justified'in order to know where you stand in terms of orientation.

    Reply to Cuddles
    This was helpful! Flag

Hall of Fame