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I don't know what my sexuality is..Help?

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Hello Everyone,

I am not sure what my sexuality is. So can I tell you my story and you tell me what I am?

A little background: I am a 23 yo girl, Muslim veiled and wears Abaya, I am religious but open-minded.

As for my sexuality, I am striaght! ..But am I?

I am attracted to males, they will always be my main attraction, I've never been in a relationship though, first it was for religious reasons, but now I feel more open to the idea... so yeah, love males! but sometimes?

I had a crush on my best friend for years, I thought it was just a phase when I was in Middle School but it carried on for years, I even told her, but I never admitted to be a lesbian, I just loved her, not any other girl, but her. Of course she didn't take me seriously, and I didn't mind, cause i knew it wasn't going anywhere anyway.

I thought she was the only girl I would love so I didn't think I was a lesbian, but I keep having these crushes on girls, and I have reached a stage where I just want to be with one. It's not like I am Bisexual, I am waaaay more attarcted to males than females, but I keep having these crushes at girls, even y dreams recently became about being with girls, they weren't even sexual dreams, just dreams about being with a girl.

So what am I? Is it just the influence of my interest in sexualities?

I would really appreciate some help, I put that I am pansexual in my Profile, but I'm not even sure I am that.

I would like to meet a nice girl....sorry.

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  • Hi Neeran, it looks to me like you're straight. It's okay for straight people to be curious and to want to explore the other sex, I had many straight male friends who went through the same issues. I used to think they were just scared to admit to themselves that they are gay, but that turned out to be false and like you they were also waaaay more attracted to females than males. They did sleep with guys though, or have an interest in them, but in the end they would always end up with a woman whom they were physically and emotionally attracted to, that's when I knew that this is another normal thing people do sometimes.

    I think the best thing to do is to allow yourself to fall in love, not a crush, but to actually fall in love with either a man or a woman and then find what is the right fit for you. Physical attraction is important, but love is love and that is genderless. It's very possible to fall in love with a girl but want to have sex with a guy. It wouldn't be fair to your partner but it happens, you just really have to be emotionally and physically honest with yourself about this because only you can know this for sure. Just know that what you are going through is normal and it takes some time, experimentation, and the right person to come along for you to figure this out.

    • 17-24_f_f_h3_f2
      Comment

      Thank you so much for the response! But to make it more clear, I am physically attarcted to girls too. The girl I used to crush on I even wanted to touch her and make love to her, even now I have a crush and all I want to do is get physical.

      I guess I am just attracted to the person themself regardless of gender with more attraction toward guys? I don't know >.<

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  • 17-24_f_f_h3_f3
    Comment

    Hello,

    Long story short; you are BI.

    So my advice would be to just stop fighting it that's what you are. Simply no so very straight person has constant crushes on people of the same sex. I'm not saying you must act on it; not at all especially if you have your own reasons or think that its wrong (totally up to you) but the fact remains that its what you are and probably you'll always be and fighting it just draws off your positive energy and exhausts your conscience for no good reason so let it be and if it bothers you just learn how to put it aside or prevent it from distracting you and focus on males (probably get married asap too :D)

    • 17-24_f_f_h3_f2
      Comment

      I would get married if I could :P But I think you might be right, I don't think I am bi, my attractions to males is more physical, but I am attracted to girls for who they are rather than their physical looks (doesn't mean I don't want to get physical with them, I really do..)

      I want to take it to the next level but I don't know how, I can't just blurt out that I am interested in a lesbian relationship to anyone, and I don't know how to find someone in my country who might feel the same or be at least interested in seeing what's it like to be in a relationship...

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    • 17-24_f_f_h3_f3
      Comment

      Listen hun, if you're attracted to a female's nice personality then you'd seek her friendship not wanting to touch her xD So yes you're Bi. And i told you its better to stop fighting it because theres no point draining your positive energy into fighting against your nature cuz in this battle you'll lose your time, energy and peace of mind. First step into moving forward is acceptance so accept it and just start to either ignore it (but at least you know what you're ignoring and in no denial) or get with a girl :D either way acknowledge it and accept it and have your peace of mind then act or not thats up to you and the surrounding coincidences anyways.

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  • Default-avatar
    Experience

    Hi Every body,
    Neeran, You are so sensitive & if you want 2 take a decision just try a threesome it will help
    Enjoy
    :)

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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f3
    Advice

    I think you're a lesbian, cause in the end you just wanna be with a girl. Having all those crushes for girls it's clear you know. u just need some time to accept it but you have to

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  • i think you are BI because u like both genders and HAVE A NICE DAY

    Reply to AnonymousUser
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  • Default-avatar
    Comment

    that what i told her she is bi an dhave to try 3some

    Reply to ahwagy
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  • 17-24_f_f_h3_f3
    Comment

    I definitely dont think she should try a 3some..geesh..whats wrong with you people xD

    Reply to Delusions
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  • You neither lesbian or straight not even bi. Don put any definition to your sexuality.Some people are exeptional to be with,Queer would be the term that you are looking for.As long as you are falling in love,it doesn´t matter which gender is it.

    Reply to palkokapo
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  • Noreen,

    Just be your self, some times its good to listen to your heart and forget what anyone think about it.

    If you are in relation with a guy just be open and tell him that you also like girls

    if you are in relation with a girl do the same.

    the more you think more you will get confused, so my advice just for for it

    Reply to nicoljamie
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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f2
    Advice

    Look, Neeran. It's no ones business telling you what your sexuality is this is something about YOU and YOU need to take charge and know what YOU are .. and even that is not necessary, Being Queer myself, I've always seen labels as something unnecessary, If you want to date a girl do it, if you want to date a guy do it, I dont understand why there is this constant obsession with labels, yes labels do make us feel more secure and everything but maybe in your case the best dicision is to go with the flow and see where life and your emotions take you.

    Note: I am not saying go around breaking hearts :P lesbians mostly tend to be clingy so be careful and be CLEAR from the beginning of your relationship with anyone that look this is my situation 1 2 3 you game or out :P

    Note 2: I think having sex or threesomes is never the solution because you're old enough to comprehend what you would and wouldn't like.

    I think thats the best thing to do in your case right now, I am always here if you need more advice or just someone to talk to.

    Take care ! xx

    • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
      Comment

      totally agreed with dee

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    • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
      Comment

      Haha I want to say that you will be fine....just try to tolerate the uncertainty. That us a shitty thing to do but just do it. Dnt go into relationship for the sake of exploring unless both of u are ok with it. But I would say wait. May be what you are feeling is compulsion and dnt really want to act on the lesbian feelings. It happens to me....sometimes I think I am gay but get straight urges...its hella confusing and I dnt mean anything about my straight urge...they seem conflicted and compulsive and feel like I am more in despair to like a a women....wtf right? But its true lol

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    • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
      Comment

      Sorry I meant to say I am gay abut I get straight thoughts and urge

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  • This depends on what type of "crushes" though. In Neeran's case it seems like they're not that serious or on a physical level.

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  • 17-24_f_f_h3_f2
    Comment

    Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who commented here! Because of your advice I finally accepted that I am Bisexual. And I met the most amazing girl (which confirmed that I am bi, and she was my first kiss!). Sadly the relationship ended because of some circumstances but if it wasn't for this forum i would have never confronted the fact that I am bisexual and would have never met her!
    Thank you all a lot!

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