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My fake life: The need to act in order to live.

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I knew I wasn't belonging to my gender since a very young age. I am physically a good looking boy, but what's inside is not coherent. I remember a lot of things from my childhood that stress out the point that I'm belonging to the wrong body. I remembered when I always used my mother's lipstick and her high heels when I was 5 years old. I was always attracted to do what every girl loves to do. I had tendency to play with girls at school, sit and talk with them. I remember once I was on elementary school, I used a red nail-polish to my toes and went to school with summer shoes. Everyone was laughing at me and I tried to convince them that my nails were burnt.. what a funny moment.

I grew up in a body that does not cohere with my thoughts and my mind. It's extremely hard especially in a very conservative society to come out and say that you are gay. I underwent a lot of bulling due to my feminine way of living. I obliged my self to stop this femininity but I couldn't it's over my control. I lived my adolescence in high school with real difficulties and barriers even though I was a really good student. Once it comes to social life, I had a lot of enemies in a very homophobic society. Each time I went more stronger to resist and I am always telling myself to never care about others, I have my own life, own friends, own family that I love so much and it's not my mistake if I have any trouble to be as normal as possible. I never get too depressed, sometime I feel sad, but not for too long, I am well known to be the funniest guy ever, I love to make jokes and to make people laugh.

All in all, the reason why I wanted to write this few lines is to advise people who are in the same situation or suffer from bullies to never give up, to never get negative because of what others say. We are only here to please ourselves and to be beautiful in the eyes of who really counts for us, and remember Pleasing everyone is pleasing to anyone ;), Be yourself, and never ever regret to be here. work hard and prove you can be more successful than anyone else.

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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
    Experience

    thank you so much for writing this. i have a friend going through the same thing at school and he is so depressed. i hope this will inspire him to be stronger and to know that this is temporary. im sure he will appreciate to read this from someone who had the same experience.

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      I will be so glad to hear that he read it, it will count for me! We are the same humans made from the same source we can't judge each other, he should not get depressed because of OTHERS.

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  • 25-34_f_b_h1_f1
    Comment

    Thank you for sharing your experience/thoughts ,I always believed in to resist is to exist.And I'm proud of you that you are up , facing the society no matter what,encouraging others with your positive phrases.Waiting for more inspiring participation from you.

    Best regards,

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  • Thanks a lot for this, I myself needed to read this. I am aware that I am not alone in this, but I really needed these lines to know that it's THEIR problem, not ours. those lines are inspiring. just Thanks ^_^

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