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Fear

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Hi all :) I would like to share something with you guys, and I'd love to hear more from you..... It's all about fear..... I'm always fearsome when it comes to me, I have always been thinking of meeting guys, and now there is chance for me to do so, but I am terrified that maybe whoever I'm gonna meet will turn out to be a fraud, would be working with the police, and even if he is not any of the above, what if we broke up and he wanted to avenge himself, or maybe that he will not keep the secret and expose me, or maybe he is not homosexual at all, but was just discovering the"so-not-other side"! I know it all sounds insecure, but those have been my concerns, any ideas or advice? Thanks in advance ^_^ .

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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
    Experience

    my friend, your fears are legitimate. there are indeed people who plant traps for others. it's not as frequent as you think and most of the time i believe youd be able to tell the difference between a real homosexual person and an undercover police or just anyone who wants to hold your orientation against you (for example making you send them pics and then blackmailing you with these pics and info.) people are sick and we always have to be cautious.

    i had an ex girlfriend who once tried to blackmail me with emails, pictures and voice messages and now i am more careful about what i send and to who. that doesnt mean i put my life on hold and stop dating. i have been in many happy relationships since then and all of them remain dear friends of mine.

    if i became paranoid because of one or two bad experiences i will never be able to find my loved one. and i will be alone for a long time. i really dont think you have much to worry about, just be careful and wait until you develop complete trust with the other person.

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  • Hi InTheCloset,
    I think you should start meeting people and dig around yourself,go out,interact with the gay scene in your city,listen and analyse before you take a step.I think that would be safer for you.And I would advise you to avoid internet relationships(my opinion) cause I am a bit paranoid ,myself .Though I never had and bad experiences or moved on something online before, but my friends did,who were also gay and tried this before.Or at least be very cautious when it comes to internet based relationships, you should get many inputs about the person you are knowing and his personality.

    • You raised a good point, but how am I going to interact with the gay scene within my city if I don't talk on the internet first? there are no known gay clubs around here, since being gay is a big fat taboo. I think I will just be cautious with the internet thingy, and I am just seeking gay friends, and maybe step two will eventually lead me to find true love. Over the past few days a lot of things has changed, and I have been in contact with the gay world more and more, all I have to do now is to wait and see ^^

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