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Happily ever after..

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Why do I always sense that relationships in our gay community doesn't last? I mean, how many of you witnessed a relationship that lasted for more than 2 or 3 years??

I stayed 2 years with my ex, and people would go like " 2 YEARS, WOW!!" like it was a miracle ! And the only relationship I knew of that went on for 6 years, ended just like that !!

Why do I feel that spending a lifetime with the person you love is a far away dream? Do we lack the commitment bond found in straight marriage? I mean, you can't easily be labeled Divorced, but it's easy to break up with someone..

Do we get bored easily? or do we know from the beginning that this will never last, so it's okay anyway?

Is it because of our community? If I were in another country, a foreign one, probably I'd be living with my gf in an apartment the way we want. But here, talk about getting away from your home and your family to be able to live with your someone, it's the only way out!!

How many homosexuals in their 40s are spending their days with their partners? speak about 50s? speak about 60s?

I love it here with you guys, I can speak my mind openly, that's why I can say that I am terrified of the future, terrified to find myself someday alone, looking back and finding that my life was a series of relationships that didn't last for a reason or another. I'm trying my best to make a life of my own with my gf, but what if we couldn't pull it together?

Can a homosexual couple, in our community, live happily ever after?

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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
    Experience

    Absolutely! Finding the "right person" even though I'm getting tired of saying that, haha.. But seriously, when you're in love and you know that the person you're with is the one you see spending eternity with, I feel like that's it to hold a relationship and have it last for years and years because you know that no matter what you go through, you're meant to be with this person.. You're both dynamic, understanding, and basically super comfortable together. So being in love as in the real thing and not little flings to just waste time. All those things you guys mentioned here too: http://ahwaa.org/topics/321

    So, I think it's possible for sure.

    Reply to Awktopus
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  • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
    Comment

    Yes because it's not about the orientation, it's about the people involved in the relationship. Lasting relationships are always tough especially when you are still young and tend to be a bit more picky. Sometimes homosexuality is a factor in commitment in societies that are aggressive towards it but in most cases, the problem would be like any other problem a heterosexual couple would face (uncertainty, no trust, lack of interest, lack of arousal/excitement, fading attraction, boredom.) The homosexual couples that have been together for a really long time, they'd be the kind that are typically reserved about their relationship and personal lives, but I assure you they are there and they number in the millions =) I hope one day I'll end up in that list. Still looking for my special someone.

    Reply to Butterfly
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  • 1.we don't choose the right partners in the 1st place, we go like .. OH ! you're gay ! COOL ! ME TOO !
    2.mixing kindness with love is the main issue here
    3.we always like, but not love .. so someone you really like, it's okay .. but it doesn't have to end with both of you in bed (happens a lot to the new ones)
    4.living with your partner is a luxury not in this country :(
    5.getting away from your parents have to follow with a reason like working or marriage (it will be hard for girls, cuz their parents keeping them like they keep boxes above the closet)
    6.getting bored is a way in relationship, we should save ourselves from that with focusing on small things like eating together, watching movies, holding hands and kissing each other (a lot!)
    7. ...

    OR
    we can take the whole thing like (Friends With Benefits) .. (No Strings Attached) .. [Katherine Moennig] Shane's way in (The L Word) :D >> I prefer that :D :3

    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Advice

      Or Brian Kenny's way from Queer as Folk. Prefer that to L Word lol.

      #4, 5 and 6 was what stood out for me. I think if two people of the same sex love each other, they're better off doing everything they can to move to another country and out of Middle East if they want their relationship to survive and have an actual future. As for Getting bored, ('lesbian bed death' anyone?) it's the kind of thing all couples face. I've read that couples should have date nights, where both go to without fail, no excuses. And also for sex, schedule sex and even if you're not up for it, get yourself in the mood and throughout the day save a moment or two for each other. It's a joint effort, keeping the passion alive, I guess :D

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    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Comment

      Kinney* lol

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    • 25-34_f_w_h1_f4
      Comment

      LBD ! Yeah I remember this, tho I disagree with the scheduled sex part, for God's sake, it ends up with both of us laughing like idiots and watching a movie "Zoga masria asila =D"

      But the idea of traveling so that any couple could live together makes so much sense, also, I knew some people who were practically living together without having to travel, and Bang bang, they shot each other down ! Nothing is for sure I mean..

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  • 12-16_f_f_h1_f2
    Advice

    its not the gay community its all over the world commitment is too big of a deal just look at the top nations all over don't look at the middle east here in straight marriage ur stuck if ur divorced ( especially with women ) its like something is wrong with u for not making a marriage work out . what ppl don't get is being committed doesn't necessarily mean being completely and utterly in love for every second of it its compromising and sacrificing and sometimes even taking just a little bit time from each other might even help .
    the thing is i think our generation has lost the value of marriage and how it works it takes a very big level of maturity to be able to tell ur self and be confident that u can be with one person for the rest of ur life .
    the words ( the rest of your life ) do not mean ( the rest of ur life when ur comfortable with it ) no that's every second od everyday knowing ur with that person thats waking up to the same face and going to bed with it as well and coming home to him or her .
    those are just a few examples so really i dont think its about gay ppl i think its our generation in general needs sometimes to grow up and take it easy before taking that kind of huge milestone

    Reply to nora14b
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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f4
    Comment

    I guess it's 50% our society's fault and 50% about personality.. i think having a different sexual orientation makes it EASIER actually, because we're more in touch with our identity than most straight people who grew up never thinking about it.. but because it's tough out here for homosexuals we may THINK it's harder, but it's really not. I personally believe that the fact that we are who we are, these feelings, that religion, this society, and we made the decision of being different and act in a way that would make our lives much harder.. this fact makes us prone to making tough decisions like walking away from someone we love and shared a lot with just for few reasons or flaws.. we're not the kind of people who would succumb to a situation because we're afraid to leave, lose, or stay alone.. or we wouldn't have been lesbians and gays and bisexuals in the first place.. this mentality is what we most have in common.. add all that to the normal traits that leads to breakups and you'll end up with 80% rate and even more..

    Reply to Imperfect
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  • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1
    Experience

    Can a homosexual couple, in our community, live happily ever after?

    == welcome to the reality ! THE ANSWER TILL NOW IS " NO " .. !! ==

    and if something change it would be my pleasure to tell you !

    Reply to ana0insan
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  • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1
    Comment

    i gotta say it is hell a lot different...when i was at the states i used to spend the night with my boyfriend, hold hands and even kiss in public! . i knew him when i was 15 and we breakup cause i came here..i am 19 now so it lasted like 3 years maybe. but since i came here i can't even meet anybody..everyone that i meet wants to get into my pants..i wish people were more...understandable.

    Reply to soloman876
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f1
    Comment

    Did ray get into your pants? My gaydar friend lol kidding

    To artemis s commitment issues hun

    Reply to Alla
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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f4
    Comment

    Amen to all what you've said ! You're gay, yaaaay, let's be together, no matter what personality differences we might have, no matter any thing "specially if they are hot ! "

    #4, #5. story of my life =D

    And about the whole Shane/Kenney, well, some actually do so, but then again, what about when we get older?? This idea scares the hell outta me !

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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f4
    Comment

    So, I am in love, I am in a great relationship, super comfortable, we understand each other and actually let anything bad, any argument or whatever pass, and we forgive any mistakes that would happen. So far so good,the question is, why do I always feel , like, afraid of what may happen?? Everything is perfect, but there comes the times where I wonder will it last like I hope?? I think in heterosexual marriages, these fears are not there like in our situation..

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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f4
    Comment

    Yeah couldn't agree more because I did found the right girl for me and we spent two year together however we broke up recently and to answer your question artemis it was because she had kind of religious awakening so yeah stuff like that
    But really hope that you and your partner will live a happily ever after because I still believe in that with all my heart so just let it be

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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f4
    Comment

    That's what I thought, and that's what I am afraid of ! You actually have the guts to admit it, way to go =D

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