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Why are Bisexuals are sometimes not welcomed in gays and lesbian communities ?

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It's a hush-hush moment when you mention that you like guys among lesbian girls.. some of them are okay with it and some are not.. i've heard so many reasons for that and i want your opinions to help me understand it more.

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  • 12-16_f_b_h1_f2
    Experience

    For me, personally, I wouldn't want to date a bisexual girl, not in this culture where there is such a big chance that she'd give into pressure from society, culture and even religion and leave me to be with a man because it's easier. It's happened to me once so... But besides the wariness against dating, which can always change depending on the person, there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe, and I'm just guessing here, the problem could be that lesbians find it difficult to understand bisexuals and determine where they stand with them. Then there's the assumption that she's probably straight and just experimenting with girls. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than that.

    Reply to Huma
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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
    Comment

    From what I've noticed.. Wait, great topic by the way. :)

    So, I think 'lesbian' has become more than just being attracted to someone of the same gender. It's a subculture. So that makes some lesbians very protective of what is theirs. Sometimes you may come across women who identify themselves as lesbians but they're really in fact bisexuals, though not willing to mention that to their lesbians friends and etc. because they think that they will lose these people as friends and especially think that they are somehow "letting their side down". But aside from lesbians being protective, they may also be threatened by the concept of bisexuality. Some would also say that when considering the political aspect of this and how it might be a threat to the queer political cause. (generally speaking here, I'm not saying all lesbians think alike of course)

    Anyway, this is obviously biphobia. And having biphobia in this community is highly hypocritical, it's just insanely ridiculous.

    A good way to beat this mentality is to stop thinking so rigidly about sexual orientation and be aware of the misconceptions about bisexuals in general(!!!). This goes to both gay and straight people.

    What are the reasons you've heard about this? I'm curious.

    • 17-24_f_w_h3_f4
      Comment

      Thanks for sharing this.. I've heard a lot of reasons, like being really digusted by a girl who gets physical with guys in general.. that bisexuality simply means that i just wanna have sex with everyone not that i'm half lesbian.. one of the most upsetting theories was that i was a lesbian in my heart, but must be with guys because i'm too weak against society to walk away from them..

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  • 12-16_f_f_h1_f2
    Experience

    so as a bisexual person my self i have asked a few of my gay friends about this
    one girl said * u have it easier u can just choose * another guy said * its like double the threat with u bisexuals when ur in a relationship we have to worry about the guys and girls taking u from us *
    another girl said * i think being bisexual is like being a confused teen for ur whole life just experimenting left and right and never choosing *
    so all those statements have some truth to them but also false as well
    the first thing is sure we might be able to enjoy the company of men and women but it does not make it easier and no we dont choose its not like choosing pairs of shoes guy what if i thought a gay guy would wan to be with all men in the world ? wouldn't he be offended so no its not like we sit around an say today i am gonna hook up with a girl instead of guy its never that easy
    so the second thing just coz we r bisexual doesn't automatically mean that we r promiscuous it just mean we happen to like both guy and girls and the fact that u cant trust me or threatened by it is ur problem and ur trust issues and if i haven't given u a reason not to trust me why stir trouble in the first place
    and the final statement has some truth to it . sure we have phases where we like men more then women or the other way around but its not experimenting coz we already know we r bi and experimenting is something u do when u want to know how u are and the choosing part is we already chose we like it both ways its just who we are its not something we can change just like some of u cant change the fact ur gay or a lesbian or straight or black or have blue eyes .
    so my answer is the reason i think is becoz gay ppl think we have it easier but we don't its just as hard . we fall inlove with the person NOT the gender and if the gender happens to be a girl thats fine . of its a guys thats fine too but at the end of the day its still about love and we cant choose it
    i hope i helped . if u have any other Qs don't hesitate to ask .

    • 17-24_f_w_h3_f4
      Comment

      That was really helpfull thaaaanks so much. i've heard all these assumptions actually and it was somehow insulting but also not far away from the truth.. and yeah being bi has nothing to do with being promiscuous, i'm in a long term relationship with a girl now and i never cheated with a guy or a girl and it feels normal, i don't walk in the streets putting marks on targets and feeling so good about having men and women as a possibility.. and i'm not confused about anything, i know this is me now.. thanks

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    • 12-16_f_f_h1_f2
      Comment

      anytime :D

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    • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1
      Comment

      i think bisexuals are awesome... they get the best of everything lol! but i'm gay... and i won't date a bisexual because i take enough time already to be jealous from another guys.... i can't include girls too! it's too much work haha

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  • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1
    Comment

    actualy i have this problem im bisexual and i want to try the experience with boy and girl in the same time , but i can't really because in tunisia bisexual are not welcoming

    • 17-24_f_f_h1_f3
      Comment

      that's why we can't trust you aymen. one person, guy or girl is never enough for you :p stop ur polygamic attitude and we will accept u ;)

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  • 17-24_f_f_h1_f3
    Comment

    bisexuals are so complicated, and it's rare to find a bi who knows exactly what he wants and what to do. most of them don't understand their ownselves. how can we understand them?

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  • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1
    Comment

    i knew that and this makes me feel really bad now im trying to be honest if it is a deseas , i think there is no medcines for me

    Reply to ayman
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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f3
    Comment

    Aww well im bi D:. What about sex? Could lesbians or gays have sex with bisexual, with no strings attached? Or is there still thedisgust factor?

    Reply to Cuddles
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