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Children abuse and Homosexuality

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I thought this topic deserves to be discussed here.

Some of us might have a bad experience in his early years. I as example, had really hard experience as a child. I was around 8 years old, and some family member molested me. Unaware of what that was, it kept on happening for several times, until I took a stand just cuz it was feeling awfully wrong and gross. leaving a very deep scar in my soul, and leaving me a deep feeling of hatred to this person, and the feeling that I could never be with a man.

However, back in the days, and when I was around 10 years, I actually had my 1st time flirting with a girl. She was my best friend back then. And again, I wasn't aware of sexuality or even what I was doing, I just did it! =D

Some of the girls I came across had similar bad experiences at a very young age. I just couldn't help but to connect what happened to us with our sexual orientation now. Not that I have any regrets about being gay, I actually feel so comfortable with myself, but I can't keep myself from wondering, if this didn't happen to me, would I become a straight?

Also I am not like a man hater, but I just can't imagine myself with a man, tho I love having guys as my friends. But that's it, friendship.

Did it happen to any other one out here? Whether a man or a woman? .

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  • 25-34_m_w_h4_f4
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    Firstly, I am so sorry this happened to you. It must be very tough to deal with. I do think there is a connection between the child abuse and your orientation now, but I don't think it was the sole driving force behind it. Usually these things cause other kinds of feelings like physical insecurity or physical hyperactivity (depending on the person) and I know several friends who went through abusive moments in their childhood either with beatings or a sexual violation of some kind and they were very sexually confused but not in terms of their orientation, mostly about the kind of partner that they could feel safe with.

    I think there is no definite and answer and I guess what I am trying to say is that it varies from one person to the other. When people go through experiences like these each one deals with it very differently from the other. I also think that your attraction for women goes beyond this experience and comes from other factors.

    Reply to Samir82
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  • 17-24_m_w_h3_f3
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    Yeah what happened to you sounds awful, I can only imagine how that affected you. Hope you're better now. I dont know about psychology but I think you can never tell if you were born gay or it happened after your incident, it's possible that it happened after that but whatever the reason is there's still nothing wrong with you, just love whomever you want to love, be with anyone you feel safe with, this does not define you as a person.

    Reply to ramyahmed
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
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    I'm sorry you went through that and it's so good to hear that you're doing wonderfully now. The guys here said it all, really. And they're right! It does not define who you are. Kudos to you for doing so great!

    Reply to Edel
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f3
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    i can relate to that !! it happened to me too ... and i know lesbian friends who have been abused when they were young .. so yeah there is defnitely a relation !

    Reply to Adena
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    I too want to say sorry that happened to you, but I believe it's one of your life experiences that made you what you are now. I too was molested when I was younger and don't know whether that effected us to be gays or not, but there's a link, may be it helped or may be it was the creation of our homosexuality.

    Reply to CowBella
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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f4
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    I had a similar experience but i was determined It wouldn't stop me from having a normal life. Sexuality in general have been a very scary subject to think about when i was a child because of molestation. But when i grew older and felt different than other people, i really wanted to help myself have the life i wanted and to be a victim my entire life. The difference i felt wasn't just being attracted to girls, it was sexualizing everything that's happening around me in a very young age, which was pure suffery for a child in the Middle East. i decided to study human sexuality and fight child abuse when I was a teenager and those were two of my best decisions ever. Maybe my experience drove me to roads I'd have never been at if it didn't happy, but I don't believe that i'm a victim of whatever happened to me and i'm thankful for the person i am today.

    Reply to Imperfect
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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f4
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    Yeah I can assure you this, I know other people who had the same situation, but turned out to be straight.

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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f4
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    Yeah probably, I never actually got attracted to guys, even I tried to be in relationship with someone few years ago, but it was a disaster. I just could't feel anything for him although he was a great person..

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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f4
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    Thanks Ramy, I am actually feeling pretty good with myself. I found peace accepting who I am, and am happy with that. Possibly happened after that, and yeah, I think it might have affected me deep down, but whatever the reason behind my orientation, I just doesn't matter. =)

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  • I am encouraged by your response Artemis and glad to see you doing so well now. You're right that the reasons don't matter in the end, as long as you're doing well and are happy.

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