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I need help discussing my prioritites. Please help

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I really need help.
I want to improve my aptitude skills and I want to love studies again.
I really feel low sometimes because i guess i am really gay and the future seems pretty lonely for me.
I always wanted to remain alone and have no problems with Allah(swt).
its just with all these variety of explanations I just know what to do, what is in my heart or how to be in peace. I need a good dtudy buddy or i dunno a friend who will help me out really and i want to forget the shitty romance that i felt 2 years ago, that made me realize i was gay.....
Please help me anyone. I want to vent and i want to study and be super intelligent. I dont knw why I feel so demotivated all the time.

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  • My question would be why do you feel lonely because you are gay? Also if you feel lonely, how come you want to remain alone instead of finding someone to be with and to love? Is it because of the one romance you had? Because that was 2 years ago and you could move on from it by focusing on improving yourself as a person.

    You should vent as much as you want, it does help, but also set certain hours each day only for studying. It seems you are a very intelligent and ambitious person. Don't let anything come in the way of your priorities which is to succeed as a student. I know that romance can be very distracting but at least surround yourself with some friends because it's hard to study all the time and feel lonely. Don't let your social life suffer just because you want to succeed as a student. You can balance both with the right amount of discipline.

    Reply to kuwaitilove
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  • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
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    Ah well, good question! I want to remain alone at the moment I am confused abut my sexuality at times, I feel the i should experiment but I dont want to because its clearly wrong. I was really sure of who I was but now I am confused because of OCD ( yeah, it developed). I know that a huge evidence points to the fact that I am gay, but still not reassured because sometime my feelings are quite arousing ( not to the comfortable level as it is to men, which happens automatically) but i am not really sure if i am faking or or it it for real...then come experimenting thoughts and then i slap my thoughts with e BIG NO!

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  • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
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    I am not angry at the romance it wasn't that serious anyway...what i am angry at is that I knew what crush or those true lovey dovey feelings were like, and after that i realized i was gay and then immediately religion said NO! and I felt it was unfair but i had to choose between religion and belief and people were trying to make me feel guilty bcs others didnt have any food to eat ( as if i am ungrateful)...........but the point of view of homosexuality with Islam is kinda changing so probably truth with surface out soon. i will not feel oppressed.

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  • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
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    Oh thanks, but my results sometimes really depresses me as they are not as elite as the top unis require...I mean cmon, I really wanna get in them. I work hard but I dont know why are they sometimes soooooo stubborn that dont wanna be raised. urrggghhh

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  • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
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    try not to. Succeeded in getting no Bs in the 4 Alevels and luckily my certificates speaks this:
    AICE diploma pass: Distinction
    AICE dimple points: 360 out of 360
    i couldn't score the A* i was hoping for.

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  • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
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    its diploma not dimple :p

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