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She left me for a man?

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I'm sure I'm not the first person to have my heartbroken and I'm definitely not going to be the last one.

I joined the site, just today and well here I am sharing my story.

It took me a while to figure out and come to terms with my sexuality but I never acted on it cause I was never really attracted to anyone, I had girls like me, at least that's what I felt, they never said anything and I never asked cause I never felt the same.

Then, I met this girl last year, to my surprise.. I ended up really liking her and for someone who has literally never been so attracted to another person, this was the highlight of my year. I remember telling a friend about it and he asked 'Oh she's Bisexual? Be careful, they always leave you for a man in the end' I just ignored his comment, thinking it was just a stupid stereotype (I still think it's a stupid stereotype) But here I am, living it.

We were together for almost a year then we recently decided to end things cause acting on her Gay side was something she wanted to stop. Despite the fact that I love her a lot, I understood where she was coming from so I decided to comply with it, however we decided to remain friends. A day later, she decided she wanted to cut off all contact with me for some time, again I decided to do so and then 10 days later she tells me there's a guy, she really likes him and he likes her too.

And I'm sitting there wondering, that a few days ago, you were with me? Telling me how much I mean to you, then you wanted to end things and now less than 2 weeks later, you're telling me there's a man you 'really' like him and he likes you back? Excuse me?

The break up and the no contact period that she forcibly implied after lashing out on me took a toll on me but more so the fact that she revealed her liking for someone only 10 days after we separated, just raised my trust issues to an entirely new level, like did she ever mean anything she said to me? Did she really even love me or care for me? Or was I just a pass time till she actually met a man?

I will never find that answers to these questions. And I know time will heal this pain but here in this moment right now, it really does suck. Doesn't it?

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Advice

    I feel you. Went through a similar thing - but you know what? The no-contact thing is the best thing you can do for yourself. Don't try to be friends with someone you have feelings for, it will only prolong your healing period. Rip the band aid off and cut her off completely. She doesn't deserve your friendship. It's tough but allow yourself to grieve and move on.

    Closure is a myth. Focus on moving on. Really - you're now closer to being with someone who will remain loyal to you. But first, learn to be with yourself again and make it a mission to enjoy life. Meet new people, do new things -you survived before her and you'll survive after her.

    Reply to Edel
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  • my heart goes with you.....

    Reply to zinabaloushy
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  • 25-34_f_b_h1_f1
    Comment

    Well said Edel! She is completely correct. Don’t have any contact with the girl, she clearly doesn’t respect you in anyway and it would toxic to stay near people like that. Do focus on yourself to become better, independent and stronger and venture out to meet new people.

    I am sorry that this girl disrespected you in worse way possible. Karma does come around back to the source, she will get what’s coming to her. And if she does contact you again in anyway, ignore it. Don’t waste your time, it will be hard but you have support here so reach out at anytime.

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f2
    Comment

    Thanks you for your kind words Edel and Ancel. I'm actually doing a lot of things to distract myself and I think it does help. Honestly guys, my situation is such where I will have to interact with her, I don't really have a choice. That's the reason I decided to keep it civil and remain friends, atleast in the eyes of the world. She has actually agreed on doing so, let's just hope she keeps her word.

    I'd like to think it hurts less now but it still hurts and I'm working on it.

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Advice

    You've learned something valuable about yourself. You are a mature person who can be civil despite of the person who caused you pain. It's an important thing to have. Take it day by day, I promise you that one day it won't hurt, even if it sometimes feels otherwise.

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f2
    Comment

    You're actually right, I didn't think I had it in me but I'm trying very hard to be the better person in all this even though I'm the one who actually got hurt.

    I really hope what you're saying is true and eventually the pain does stop.

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  • 25-34_f_b_h1_f1
    Comment

    You got this Z! Edel is right, it takes time for it to heal. But you got support here!

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