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Thoughts...struggle of a married gay

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This is probably the 10th time that i delete the account n rejoin..just a reflection of that double life i am living..
Runnning back to what ppl see a successful life n marriage..once there r minutes spent alone am longing for such warmth of ppl alike around me..
Even though am gay n am surely is..i am not looking to talk to guys or to have sex..
I feel more convenient talking to lesbians who feel the same..
So i do n i run away ..i fear coming out..being whom i am..
So i run again..n that goes on.

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