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My boyfriend is unsure

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After several years of not knowing where to start when it comes to dating I found love in a really great guy although he is always unsure about his own sexuality and its causing us many problems.

We have been together now for more than one year at first it was fine now he is always asking me about where this is going and that maybe he is bisexual or straight and this is really annoying for me because I want a stable future with this guy.

I want to ask for some advice but know that dumping him is out of the question because I like him too much already and need to see how to deal with all this. What do you do when your partner is unsure?

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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
    Advice

    you cant do anything about it you have to wait & see how he feels this is a process for him the same as it was for many of us. you have to not get annoyed but be understanding, thoughtful & considerate of what he is going through he needs you right now to help him find himself.

    Reply to 6a3miya
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  • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
    Advice

    You should be careful not to pressure him into anything because he'll be easily overwhelmed. Give him space and time to think things through. Like 6a3miya said all you can do right now is be there for him.

    Reply to Joon
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  • 12-16_m_a_h3_f1
    Experience

    Yes but he should also be considerate of my own situation and feelings about this. I don't want to be strung along just for fun its not my style.

    • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
      Advice

      you have to be patient man these things take time you cant control how someone feels about you or their own selves.

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    • 12-16_m_a_h3_f1
      Comment

      I want to be patient but I don't want to be wasting my time on something that won't work out if he doesn't want this as badly as I do and is not sure of it as much as I am maybe its time for me to look for someone else.

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    • 25-34_m_w_h4_f4
      Advice

      It's all about finding the balance. Both of you should come to some sort of agreement about what steps to take to move this relationship forward. Don't give him an ultimatum to come up with a decision because that never works and will likely drive him away from you.

      Patience is a very attractive quality in a person.

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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f3
    Comment

    I'll chime in differently. You're right, you deserve to have some stability and comfort from him, too, otherwise he is stringing along, even if he doesn't know it. Be patient, because this is an incredibly delicate and emotional journey for him. At the same time, let him know about your feelings and how you need some support in this too. Be supportive to him, maybe find resource for him and find people that he can talk to. Sometime talking to other gay people that you're not romantically involved with, if that's a possibility, can be a really great support. But yeah, make sure you tell him about your needs, in a gentle and patient way, but don't let yourself be his experiment or stepping stone. That's not fair to you, and even your boyfriend could develop really unhealthy ways of relating to people, too. Good luck!

    • 12-16_m_a_h3_f1
      Comment

      Yes I think I will do that. I did it before but he just ignores me. I'm worried that he will let me wait and wait then say he doesn't want me anymore.

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    • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
      Advice

      Hazim you can worry about that but like 6a3miya said you won't be able to control his feelings about you anyways, so it's worth at least communicating your thoughts to him so he's aware of this.

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    • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
      Comment

      The main question is do you yo think he loves you the way you do ? in my opinion
      love determine every thing , I hate to be rude by saying if he truly love you he won't have such doubts , please excuse me Hazimy for saying this . I really don't want to increase your pressure ! Any way ask him a direct question if he want to share the rest of his life with you beause it is not fair for you as ( arabsest said ) . Giving him more time to be sure of his feelings towards you is the second option, if you can't imagine continue your life without him .

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    • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
      Comment

      I second honey's comment on this. Good luck HazimY!

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  • Trust me dear break up with him. I was in love with my best friend for 9 years. He questioned his sexuality during this time. After 9 years he came to me and told me he wasn't gay and was completely straight and in love with me. We got married and I thought I was getting my happily ever after. We got married and didn't have sex because he told me he was sexually abused as a child and couldn't have sex with me. I was patient and loved him and stuck by him. 5 years into our marriage and he tells me he is gay and has always been gay and has just been denying it to himself. There is nothing in the world more heart breaking than this. Trust me. If he is having doubts now he will forever. Don't go down this path for yourself

    Reply to bigirlindubai
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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
    Advice

    I feel like everyone said everything already but I think this is a very important point here. Samir also mentioned how patience is a very attractive quality in a person. I agree with that, and also, being understanding. Because you need to keep in mind that the reality of this is that his feelings can't be controlled and I know it's super tough but try your best not to pressure him. Make your needs very clear to him but don't pressure him because he's already in a confused state right now and it might just push him away. Emotionally first and then literally.

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