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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
    Experience

    I know what you mean and I know how frustrating it can be. What I do when it comes to family and specific friends is still be myself.. I know they don't know this part of you and you can't talk about certain interests and etc. but you're not being someone else entirely. You can still be yourself without revealing things that you think might hurt them or make them suspicious about that part of you.

    Reply to Awktopus
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Advice

    I've come to realize that my sexuality is not all of who I am. Being gay does not define you, you are you regardless of your sexuality. Be brave and be true to yourself. You'll find friends who will accept you (if you haven't already). My friends who know who I am are enough for me. I understand where my family comes from and why they wouldn't accept me, or have a damn hard time doing so, so it doesn't bother me. I don't pretend to be anyone else, I am me. I just hide the gay part from them and that's fine too because there's so much to me than being gay.

    I understand that living as a homosexual is going to be very difficult as time goes on, so I'm going to move out and away from my family when the time comes. And yes, it's to protect them too from things that would hurt them. It's a sacrifice, but then I think about all they have sacrificed for me. That way I can live my life the way I want without hurting them.

    Your family may not accept you, but there are many who do and will have your back. Be true to yourself and don't focus on how your family doesn't know. To balance it all out, there's a lot you probably don't know about your parents. It doesn't mean that you don't know them at all- and that works the other way around too.

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    Thanks Awktopus for your understanding & sharing experience :) . I get relieved by your mentioning I am not someone else entirely ! you know being just recently discovering who I am , let me wondering if I am living a dual life for not revealing how I truly feel to my family and friends !

    • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
      Experience

      Don't mention it. :) It's Very normal to feel this way. Especially since you mentioned that you're just recently discovering who you are. I felt like I was living a double life too, hiding a secret from loved ones, which resulted in massive feelings of (illogical) guilt! But just because you're not telling them, doesn't mean that you're leading a double life. It feels that way but as you soon start to adapt to this situation, you'll even lose the feeling or need to tell them. You're still in the process of figuring things out and putting pieces together. Things will get much better once you're fully aware of everything.

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    • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
      Comment

      Do you trully thinks that everything will get much better :) I hope so Awktopous . I m looking forward for adapting my new situation may be I can feel better .

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    Thanks Edel for your advice it really touch my deeply :) I hope some of my friends will accept me to be balanced somehow because my family will never do that . I am trying to move out of my country but want to reach to a compromise with myself first ! My family do a lot of sacrifices to me and I do love them a lot that's what let me thinking double without any true action from my side .

    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Advice

      Sometimes I wonder if I'm being selfish by aiming to move out and leaving my parents but I figure, even if I wasn't gay, I would have moved out when I married a man so it's not such a strange idea that I would move out because I wanted my own life. To make up for their sacrifices (and I can only try) I'll earn for them and support them in their old age, if God wills. You are not betraying them or anything, so go ahead and move out if you feel that that is the right thing for you. And I'm glad I could somehow help :)

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    • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
      Comment

      To be honest Edel , my mother is depending on me day after day .I guess that's due of being an only daughter among brothers .This is the main reason why I am hesitating of delaying moving out of the country ! But I am in the process of persuading her to go out with me so as not to feel total guilt . I arrange myself to go after a few months to a foreign country I like and hope she will accompany .

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    • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
      Comment

      May be in the foreign country I will found the freedom and and acceptance I desire and not feel like a bird in a golden cage !

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  • 25-34_f_b_h1_f1
    Comment

    Hey Honey!

    I think that you should start up building an independent life,isolated somehow from your traditional middle eastern girl image.Cause the reality you requiring for yourself needs to pill up over time until you start living it for real at any chance.More or less you need to start moving under the table,build yourself up until you become ready to fulfill your freedom.

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    Hi back Palkokapo :)

    Thanks for your advice , it is really helpful . yah I think it is high time for me to move under the table and stand in a solid ground . By the end of this year I will be abroad , hope I could establish the style of life I desired , and obtain my ultimate freedom .

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  • 12-16_m_a_h3_f1
    Experience

    Be yourself honey and also set some rules for yourself so that you dont trespass your family's comfort zone, theres no reason why we can't have both things in life: a family and a great love life.

    Reply to HazimY
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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    Thanks Hazimy for sharing experience . Sometimes ,I feel like there is a heavy stone over my chest because i don't want my family ever know about how i feel ! not due to fear but due to great love . But to be honest every day i feel less tense

    • 12-16_m_a_h3_f1
      Advice

      I know this feeling and I am glad you love and respect your family this much. You're doing the right thing by keeping this to yourself for now and enjoy their presence and company in other ways. Our families have things they hide from us too. We're not the only ones with secrets. For some people their double lives involve things like rape and drugs and with us its only emotional. You sound like an amazing person honey I am not worried I think things will turn out very fine for you.

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    • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
      Comment

      Thanks for your opinion & wishes my friend ,
      hope things will turns good for all of us :)

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    I am in a process establishing a new rules that will suit my new life , hope to be fully accomplished

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    Thanks a lots Reem :)

    Reply to hanibal
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  • 25-34_f_b_h1_f3
    Advice

    The closest thing from being myself, is coming out to those who can accept it, and that's what I do and the best thing is more people accept it than I thought. do that and trust me it helps.

    Reply to JuJu
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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    Hope my friends could accept me if they found out . Really want to be myself & not wearing a mask that cover my reality
    Thanks a lot MmGg for your advice :)

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  • 25-34_f_w_h3_f2
    Advice

    I hope you can do that while also maintaining a strong relationship with your family. Will you be working or studying abroad? Do you plan on returning home after some time abroad? Are you nervous? It's a big move!

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    Thanks Reem for your advice :)
    That's what I really hope , to keep a strong relation with my family because I love them a lot .
    I will study there and work as well ,if I find a suitable job . Oooh Reem I am so nervous to go out but frankly I don't intend to return home hahaha
    May be just for a short visit ;)

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