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Hello everyone, hope everyone is doing great.

I am a bisexual female from The United Arab Emirates, Im 15 years old my parents are divorced and living apart and 7 months ago I moved to a new school where I met the love of my life, this was a secret relationship where only a few of our friends knew because being LGBT is not accepted here. 4 months into our relationship, my mom found out by reading our conversation we had on text, i confessed and admitted it was "wrong" just because i didn't want my mom to tell her mom.

My mom told me that I'm not allowed to be her friend, she's not allowed to come to my house, I'm not allowed to go to her house and so on. She threatened to tell my dad (which he will literally kill me if she did) if she finds anything of that sort again, so i didn't give up on her of course and used my dads obliviousness to my advantage. I asked him to take me to her house when i was over at his house for the weekend. Everything was going great, we even had plans to move to the U.S in the future. 3 weeks ago my mom travelled to switzerland to because my brother is having an operation, so she had her friend stay at our house to "babysit" me a long with 2 of my younger siblings. I invited my girlfriend over almost every 2 days while my mom was gone. Until my moms friend walked in on us, we were making out. When my mom came back, her friend told her what she saw.

Today my mom called me and she wanted to talk to me. She told me that she knows everything and she called my girlfriends mother and told her everything. We are now forbidden from seeing or talking to each other, from both sides, her mother slapped her, and unlike me my girlfriends relationship with her mom was great and her mom trusted her, but now all of that is over, my mom told me she will tell my dad and she will send me over to live with him. I would rather go to jail than have my dad find out. I am in desperate need of help. I don't know how to reach my girlfriend , I have no purpose to live. Im suicidal.

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  • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
    Advice

    Oh dear that is a very tough situation to be in. I am so sorry. I think for the next few weeks it will be very hard to reach her, but eventually you would have to gain your mother's trust back. Just be apologetic, obedient, until they tighten the chains they've placed around you - they can't control you forever.

    I think now if you try to reach her it might get worse if they find out. Some patience will go a long way, as hard and torturous that is! I'm really sorry you're experiencing this, it's such a hard situation to be in, please do not harm yourself, give it time and you will be able to reach out to her again once both your families calm down a bit. Be strong

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      I am now on her mom's "black list" Im even considering calling her mom and apologizing just so I can clear the air but I'm worried if I do call her she might tell my mom, any advice on wether I should do it to not or on what to tell her?

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  • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1
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    Right now I found a way to contact my girlfriend and both our parents are completely ignoring the situation, we are still forbidden from any sort of contact or friendship, her mother absolutely hates me and and doesn't trust me and I'm not welcome near her doorstep. Any suggestions on how I could gain her trust and forgiveness back? Im desperate.

    • 17-24_m_w_h3_f1
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    • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
      Comment

      i agree with jazzi you need to be very patient because if you try to contact her mom and push for her acceptance she could use that against you and turn the situation into something much worse. it would anger her. give her time to heal i think she wont be able to trust you until you honor her wishes and give them the space to process everything she saw and heard. parents usually need a lot of time because they are very overprotective of their kids (not always in a good way.) i think patience is your best opportunity here if you want to keep the doors open to see and be with her in the future

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  • 17-24_m_w_h2_f3
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    oh damn a really sad story you know what don't give up and just find a solution to back to ur girl friend trust me u will be good togther .just do itttt

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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f2
    Experience

    I was in a similar situation when I was your age except my mom had already been suspicious about my sexuality so she didn‘t call or tell anyone but she confronted me so I had to stay away from my girlfriend at the time and not have her over for quite some time until the air was clear and my mom was convinced it was only just a phase. Parents want to believe that it‘s just a phase that will eventually pass so it is their interest if you push them to believe so. My advice to you would be to simply make her believe that you‘re apologetic and that you yourself now realize how wrong that was, that you were just exploring and that it‘s definitely over. After that I had my girlfriend over again quite often, but we were always cautious to spend more time with other people like we would spend a lot of time with my brother or just keep the door to my room wide open and it worked like magic. We eventually both moved out and left the country to move in together and up until this moment my mom chooses to believe it was just a phase and that webwere merely best friends.
    So as I said mothers want the easy way out, you just have to show them the way Best of luck, dear!

    • 25-34_f_w_h1_f3
      Comment

      You make it sound so easy

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    • 17-24_f_w_h1_f2
      Experience

      In our case it was somehow easier than for most people. That’s the only aspect where I was ever lucky along the way I would say. My mom is European and even though she is not really friendly with that entire homosexuality issuee, she‘s not the type to take on drastic measures. I must say though that I really wish she had talked to me about it any point when I grew up and was no longer the kid she saw in that room. But that‘s what I mean when i say mothers want the easy way out. My mother made herself believe all the lies I told her even though no one thinking straight would ever believe what I said, because it simply didn‘t make any sense. I mean when you saw what she saw, you give the topic more attention. You try to talk to your kid at some point, even years later. But she chose to play dumb and I believe that especially mothers take that road quite often. It‘s like she just doesn‘t want to believe her daughter might actually like women so she would rather believe any other shit I tell her even if she sure as hell knows they‘re a bunch of lies. It‘s sad somehow but I know where it comes from.
      And it definitely isn‘t easy. I mean all the lying and hiding aside, the fact that your own mother denies you your identity is a shock. And having to experience that at the young age of 15, it must be awful for Halsey. I can‘t begin to imagine what she must be going through.

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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f3
    Comment

    It is indeed a sad story and i don't really have any advice to give to you but to take care and be careful if you decide to contact your girl again. I just really wish parents in this part of the world were more prepared to deal with our issues they are clueless and they fuck us up even more than we already are by how they deal with us.

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