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Falling in love with my straight friend

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Hi guys, so this is the first time I ever write anything on this platform, I just wanted to share this story with you guys to know If you have similar stories or anything to say about it.

Long story short currently I'm on my last year in a engineering school, in my first year I was really shy and I met this guy in my class he knew people there so he was like my guide . up until my first year I didn't really know If I was gay or not cuz I've always been confused I've been exclusively with women but have strong feelings for guys but never worked on them.
let's go back to our guy so I remember the very first time I met him in the cafeteria it was strange I instantly felt a strange feeling towards him it was like a sort of butterflies if I may say .He's a very handsome guy with green eyes and a beautiful beard and the weird thing is he was attached to me because he wanted someone to do homework ith and so on.

he used to come to the house I was renting near college and I could feel that there was something going on cuz I was developing strong feeling towards him it was something I never felt towards a girl before something beautiful and just out of this world , I mean just the way his laugh was contagious to me his voice GOSH I was in love with his deep voice . and I was literally dying inside for not being abl to tell him I was hoping he would be gay and my love to him was influencing me , I mean we would be in class and all I'd do was staring at him his beautiful shaped mouth and just what it would be to kiss him and feel the warmth of his chest.

One day he called and said he was gonna came to my house to do some homework I remember that I got excited like a little bitch as if I had a chance hahah
he rang the bell I opened and it was the catastrophe he was wearing this very short shorts and i'm telling you I was staring right at the sexiest legs ever I mean OMG he was wearing so hot hah and so we started doing homework than he said he was gonna say something important that he wanted to say to me
I felt like my heart was going to stp I tought he's gonna say he has feelings for me and I imagined how that would be aakkhh
and then he opened his mouth and said he thinks he loves laila who is the girl in our squad and if I know if she's engaged cuz he was gonna tell her
I can't tell you guys how damaged I felt and how broken my heart was at that moment .
The problem is laila had feelings for me she always acted interested and a friend told me that but I've chosen to leave on her so he can have her because I loved him
so that's the story in love with my straight friend and caught up in this love triangle with his girlfriend who basically had feelings for me and me having feelings for him up until this day
I just don't know what to do guys;;;;; should I tell him about my true feelings I mean he's straight and I think i'm gonna lose him as a friend let along what he's gonna think of me cuz I don't look like your next door gay guy i'm masculine and very popular and successful at school but I would give my all to just be with him.

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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
    Comment

    sorry to see the heartbreak you're going through its not easy falling for a straight person. happens a lot. cant count how many straight women i fell for. i'd say keep him in your life and dont lose him for now but if you see that you really cant get over it then sometimes removing them from our lives makes us forget them and get over it quicker. till you find the right person to be with and share your life with.

    Reply to skyflake
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  • 25-34_m_f_h3_f3
    Comment

    Thank you so much for that
    I think for me fogetting would be the solution
    I just don't understand why are we doomed to live like this it's not fair
    this makes me feel so incomplete , you get the urge on something you can't never have

    • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
      Experience

      I know exactly how that feels and been there personally many times but you do end up falling in love with people who return it eventually, can take years but it happens, even if deep down you will always want someone you don't want (isn't that human nature?) you can still be happy and fulfilled with someone who gives you back this love.

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  • 17-24_m_w_h2_f1
    Comment

    I'm sorry to tel you that but I don't think anything good would come out if you told him. Distance yourself a little bit from him if you feel like you get hurt when you see him.

    Reply to Omar000
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  • "he opened his mouth and said he thinks he loves laila who is the girl in our squad and if I know if she's engaged cuz he was gonna tell her"
    Ouch! sorry boo! you need to develop immunity to your str8 friends. it goes easier with time. plus you'll find gay guys who're way hotter im sure!

    Reply to ThatKindOfPerson
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  • about telling him tho!
    you need to know his view of such stuff! i mean he might accept the fact you're gay/bi or whatever but trust me str8 guys wouldn't just let it go if you tell them you had a crush over them! so DON'T! EVER! but tho they might accept the fact ur gay! you need deep observations first!

    • 25-34_m_f_h3_f3
      Comment

      Thak you so much for responding to this
      Well concerning his point of view on this I remember one time we talked about homosexuality as a subject he said he totally understands lesbians he just can't put up with gays and he was disgusted by them
      Deep inside I had alot to say to stand for gay people ..to stand for myself but I kept quite
      Whenever I felt like going back to him as a friend I remember how he sees us gays and ythis helped me alot to get over him
      I'm in a stage now of my life where I have no tolerrance for people that would judge me for something I didn't chose , these people have no place in my life
      I just hope one day I'll find that true one I can care for and I'd go against the world for

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    • Good call

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  • 10/06/2017

    I and my gay friend came out to straight guys, our hope was that they would feel the same...but it was the worst move we'd ever make.

    Firstly just get the idea that if you certainly know his straight no matter his attitude towards lgbt people..he will say no to your love. He wont care about your true feelings and that rejection will hurt you forever!

    Is it worth trying now that his told you his into someone else? If someone is into clearly they will show you signs here and there. But you got your answer already.

    My bro, please dont ever get tempted to tell him, the shame and hate you'll end up feeling for just coming out to him will be a source of pain for you for a very long time. I'm sure you've been through alot you dont want to add more.

    Its hard, its like seeing a best part of your future slip away but you got to be rational. Keep feelings for the right people hopefully you will find someone else as good as him.

    Reply to Afrabrules
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