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I'm really tired

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Hey guys ... I'm really really tired I feel like I can't struggle anymore
I'm a homosexual guy from Egypt 21 years old ... I came out to my mum 3 years ago and since then she has been taking me to doctors to cure and even forcing me to engage a girl or something ... I like who I am and I can't change it ... all I want is to live with someone I love with not judgement from others ... one day I wanna marry a guy not a girl ... I came out to some of my friends and some of them understand me and support me and others not so much they want me to change and it bothers me .... I got homosexual friends and all of that but I'm different all they think about is just sex ... I just wanna be loved and yes I'm ugly and w/e but it's what I really want .....
all I think about is committing suicide .... I am just tired I don't know what to do anymore
I got no dreams I got no present I got no future I got only emptiness , loneliness and sadness ..... I just can't survive in this community and I can't run away from it ... I cry every single night ... I'm writing this while I'm all teared up and trying to hold it .
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  • 35-50_m_w_h2_f2
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    please do not try such bad things like suicide. It will get better. I know it is difficult to do things but it is so important to be yourself whoever you are. Before you came out you already were yourself. The only difference is some guys knowyou sleep with men.
    In my country things have changed a lot in the last 25 years. Now it's not a big deal as much anymore. So many just don't care. All they do care about is who THEY sleep with within the four walls of their bedrooms. Good luck and keep smiling :-)

    Reply to JDub49265
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f1
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    I'm sorry it has been this way, when support doesn't come from parents and friends it must be hard, but you have to hold on, it won't stay like that forever it has to get better, it has to, it might take some time but it will.
    You're 21, guys your age are still experimenting and you are still searching for somebody to love, it'll take its time, just hold on please.

    Reply to Loveislove
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  • 17-24_m_w_h2_f1
    Comment

    I'm a homosexual guy from Egypt 21 years old and I sometimes feel the same way you feel.
    I'm not one of these guys looking for quick hookups, feel free to send me a message if you need a friend to talk to.

    Reply to Omar000
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  • Yeah the issue with the gay community for a lot of guys tht sex is always part of the equation..makes it difficult..so difficult to have normal rel..friendship

    Reply to Confused-guy
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f4
    Comment

    Dude we are all here to stand by You even if we didn't met or talk but we feel all these annoying feelings too .. It's Ok I'm sure someday u would find ur soulmate ..NeVer Give UP

    Reply to rose
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