So, I've been going through a lot with my family for my whole life. I mean, even when we were "close" I didn't feel close to them, probably because I was pretending to be someone I was not. I would play into their games and into the role that they wanted me to be as their kid. Now that I'm away at school our relationship has become extremely toxic, I'm okay with myself being queer and feel involved in that identity a lot, and my parents still don't know and it's causing so much trouble. They ask me all the time but I know I Cannot come out to them yet because they wouldn't understand. How can I explain why there's such a big shift? Does anyone feel the same? I feel so stuck and unstuck at the same time. I love my family but am so scared of them at the same time, and I don't want to be in this in between, I'm already in too many of those. I don't know, maybe I'm just venting, I miss my family. I miss things I've never had because it was all pretend, but I want it now.