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Family Relationship

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So, I've been going through a lot with my family for my whole life. I mean, even when we were "close" I didn't feel close to them, probably because I was pretending to be someone I was not. I would play into their games and into the role that they wanted me to be as their kid. Now that I'm away at school our relationship has become extremely toxic, I'm okay with myself being queer and feel involved in that identity a lot, and my parents still don't know and it's causing so much trouble. They ask me all the time but I know I Cannot come out to them yet because they wouldn't understand. How can I explain why there's such a big shift? Does anyone feel the same? I feel so stuck and unstuck at the same time. I love my family but am so scared of them at the same time, and I don't want to be in this in between, I'm already in too many of those. I don't know, maybe I'm just venting, I miss my family. I miss things I've never had because it was all pretend, but I want it now.

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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
    Experience

    im really sorry you have to go through this. im not one to give any advice because i went through exactly the same thing. and when i finally came out the relationship got much worse and more tense, to the point where we are not on speaking terms any more since YEARS. it is a horrible feeling. almost like i lost a limb. its hard to function without family. if i went back in time though i would still tell them. in the end its not my fault they cant accept it it still really hurts

    Reply to skyflake
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  • Thanks, I definitely will tell them, just when I'm more safe. I already have accepted that they will not accept me and I will not have a relationship, that's why it's harder living with it now. Trying to be close and far away at the same time, it takes a toll. Idk, thank you for the kind words. If you'd like to message and talk more we could! Be support for each other.

    Reply to halalhabibi
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