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Middle eastern homosexuality=>phobia

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Hello Dears,

I wanted to share with you a story of mine,trying to involve myself into any of the homosexual communities here in Egypt.
At the beginning, I tried to meet a friend of a friend who had the same orientation,I thought that would break the ice and let me meet new people as myself,who are sharing the same Queer orientations,whatever they are, in addition to social,ethical ..whatever heritage I was used to .I was trying to understand how is it going in Egypt.But I was really disappointed.The community here is based on the previously mentioned so-called ethical, religious,social ( barriers).No one had the courage ,of the people I met to socialize and interact with people as him/herself, by the mean of sharing experiences.It just doesn't happen easily at all.The girl I met always tried to avoid any critical conversations.Very few of them who have the will to participate in/for LGBTQ organizations.She showed me ,zero social responsibility for that.I tried to meet more of people online,but when you meet them on real life, the purpose just change from associating something into an insecurity and phobias about everything.
I was suggesting them to participate in the LGBTQ camp announced.I would say one of five responded ,and the other were (just afraid) of ,if someone would find out.In an irrational phobic way.

What do you suggest to resolve this problem?

  • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3

    I understand what some of your other LGBT friends are going through because I feel the same. I am also very sheltered and I will probably deny my orientation to strangers who ask me and I don't go to any LGBT meetings or events. I am intensely paranoid even though I have been actively dating for many years. A part of me feels like sometimes we just have to accept certain parts of our culture and live with it and other parts makes me feel like we need a big radical change but I don't think we can do that right now or try to be very open in public because it's too risky and it feels better to remain private with our loved ones and not broadcasting our sexuality to everyone around us who will only be hostile and intolerant.

    I know this is not a solution to the problem, maybe just a way to share another point of view of why some people are the way they are when it comes to fear and paranoia.

    There are many barriers and I myself don't know which ones we can bypass and which ones we never can. It really depends on the communities we live in.

    • Do you get a sense that they're like that because they're still closeted/ashamed? Or is it just that they don't like to get involved that deeply within the community? I grew up like that but I've been a lot more open about this in the past few years.

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  • i think that u both are right i mean that we ask people to listen to us and don't deny our presence but we also don't respect the fact that they also need time to understand and get to know what we present so i think we need to give the people all the time they need to be open with us and never forget that we ask for freedom of thinking whatever ur thinking is against or with me . ur free to think and to do whatever u want

    • Default-avatar

      Yes I agree, I think this is a really challenging thing to deal with and in our culture here it feels like the "right" thing to do is to bottle up a lot of these feelings and thoughts if you want to maintain a private life.

    • we all have same sex phobia

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  • 17-24_f_f_h3_f3

    Frankly, I'm gonna have to agree with you. I myself have no problems identifying my sexuality and for some reason lots of girls gaydar detects me very easily even if I dont do anything to show that I'm into women and I did get approached a lot even when I wasn't looking at all and what I do each time when I'm being obviously hit on or comforted by someone who would like to get to know me better or whatever? Complete silence on my side for a minute or two I'm okay to talk about anything and everything and I'm very nice usually even to people I dont like but when it comes to getting to know other gay people all I need is that 1st step to be taken after that I'll be completely normal but for some reason I didnt get past it in few situations for unknown reasons which low-self esteem is not 1 of them.

    Like for example you can see many of us here talk about wanting to meet other gays/lesbians but when it comes to actual action I highly doubt they would even take it to the private messages to flirt someone up

    Reply to Delusions
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  • when your life is the price for being yourself,
    that's a hard
    to act normally and express your orientation in Egypt , sometimes would cost your job , friends , even your life
    social networks and internet are more safer than real life
    that's why most of LGBTQ people do not act like LGBTQ in real life .. nothing else

    Reply to hema_هيما
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  • 25-34_f_b_h1_f1

    Hi Butterfly!

    I just wanted to clear that, they do not even interact critically with each other ,I'm lesbian through I'd share my experience and try to initiate or participate with a discrete social circle with homosexual people .They are more paranoid about doing something systematically .They acted in an immature way toward this issue .I was not trying to expose anybody even myself to any kind of trouble, but just for the sake of helping others,and sharing points of view as long as we know each other very well.

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  • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3

    Ah I see what you mean. I have some friends that are like that as well but luckily most of them are very open and sincere with me and with our circle of other close friends. It took years for us to develop that kind of trust but it pays off to be a part of such networks. I think maybe those kinds of people that you bring up haven't been a part of these social groups before and don't know how to interact in these situations.

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