I have mentioned earlier how I wanted to look for a relationship no matter how virtual it might be(look for reasons in my previous post) I did my research and found the safest website and I created a profile.
I put up some of my pictures (nothing sexually invoking or revealing clothes, that's not how I prefer to dress anyway) I also used my actual nickname, not a fake one because I just wanted to be real and 100% myself.
Another note about me is that I am not all that attractive so bear in mind this would be a whole lot worse if it were a girl much more physically attractive.
Let us get to the actual experience...
I was so surprised to see a whole lot of Arabic names appear in front of me, like genuinely surprised Egyptians would be on an LGBT dating website. I wonder what all those people are doing here? Are they also as desperate as me?
I started getting lots of messages but lets sum it all up in a few types of people I met:
-Guys...lots of guys pretending to be girls.
-Guys who don't pretend to be girls but are just up for sexting
-Guys who just want to meet up right away and if you refuse, its "cause you're actually a guy" or suggesting that I am too close-minded or calling me worse names.
-Couples asking for a bisexual girl for a threesome
-Girls who are here for sexting (some of them just plain out talk about how they enjoy sexual harassment)
-Married women who realized they are lesbian too late and now are looking for a cheat partner
-People of both genders who have no idea what is going on on here (or people who are overly proud with their sexual experiences) and come to ask about how did you know you are bi if you never had sex with either gender (or dated either gender for my forever alone self)
Of course I got to talk to a few decent people but since the chat on that website is super super annoying (that's what you get for free) they have been asking for my number or whatsapp which I don't actually give out because I always foresee potential risks, or my facebook, which I also don't give out because it has all my family and colleagues on it, I wouldn't let anyone in it unless I know for sure they are safe.
Now, I dont have anything against sexting, people who are into it are into it they do their own thing.. But personally I am not a sexual person. I can not be actually interested in having sex or even talking about sex with a person unless I am romantically involved with them first (bear in mind that I am already very very romantically interested, actually in love, with a straight girl atm so I just need to break this romantic interest first with a different one in order to function ) And there is almost no one looking for an actual romantic relationship, they do not want to talk about themselves as people nor are they interested in knowing me as a person, they are just here for sex (even though my profile has nothing sexy, or physically attractive, on it)
When I thought more about it; it makes perfect sense. Romantic relationships between humans in Egypt (dare I say the whole Arab World, too) is almost non-existent in straight couples. They just view each others as objects, something to do a specific job in their lives, but almost never an equal partner who deserves love and attention. I am not generalizing of course, just saying how most couples work.
So, gender inequality, gender expression inequality, sex-deprivation and the general view of homosexual (and bisexual) people as promiscuous and lustful lead to the situation that I found
I just lost hope and will leave this whole thing up to God and chance But my profile? I'll keep it. I found it a great way to discover more about the society than could be visible, let's say its a mini social experiment for myself to know where exactly do I stand to the Egyptian society as a girl and as a bisexual.