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How can i be sure?

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Hey guys i discovered that i might be a lesbian a year ago and before that i never thought that i might be homosexual even though i've always had these weird thoughts and feelings about some girls so one day i started to think that i might be homosexual but i totally pushed the thought away and kept denying it for a whole year and one day i decided to admit it to myself that i'm homosexual and that it's okay to be and there is no shame in that so 2 days ago i came out to my best friend and he was totally okay with it but i'm still confused and i'm not so sure i've never been with a girl before so how can i be sure ?

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  • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
    Advice

    This is such a common feeling, the lack of certainty on whether or not you're a lesbian, or bisexual, or straight.

    The only way to really know is to be with a woman and see how natural it feels for you. You also shouldn't really put too much pressure on yourself by trying to define who and what you are even if you're eager to find out. Some people don't truly know until their 40s or later (after marriage and kids even.) I only became sure when I realized that my attraction to women was far more emotional than just sexual, and that falling in love with women felt completely natural to me. So you need to give yourself some time to experiment, try things, see how it feels, instead of attempting to figure it out in your head without any real experiences to confirm your feelings.

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Experience

    I went through a similar experience. It didn't even seem possible to me till I was introduced to the community here at Ahwaa.

    In my case, once I accepted the idea of homosexuality a lot of the unexplained things in my past started making sense, like the crushes on girls that I called best friends and hurt I felt when they got a boyfriend. I was fully out to myself for more than a year before I had any experience with girls. By that time it all just felt natural, it all fit. In the beginning, internalized homophobia took a bit to fade away but overall it's a feeling of "aah that makes sense" (best I can describe it!)

    But like Joon said, don't pressure yourself too much. Take it easy and feel it out. Post here as much as you want and my inbox is always open, so feel free! Best of luck

    • 17-24_f_w_h3_f1
      Experience

      yeah that's exactly how i felt like "aah that makes sense" all these feelings that i felt for girls and didn't have any explanations for now make total sense.

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  • Echoing Edel and Joon - it took me a while to come into being a lesbian. I still dated men and women for a while and identified as bi, and then after a few years, shifted towards being interested in women only. I'm not ruling out dating men ever again, but I just felt more at ease and attracted to women and less attracted to men. But there's no pressure to "figure it out," just do what feels right to you and see what happens! You're not alone, and just know that these things can shift and change as you have different life experiences so be open and explore!

    Reply to femmeprincess
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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f1
    Comment

    well it took me a while to know that i'm not alone and you have no idea how happy i am that i found this site and finally found people like me.

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  • try to do what feels right to you. you may want explore experiences with women and see if they feel natural. would be my guess.

    Reply to cucumbermargarita
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  • 25-34_f_b_h1_f3
    Advice

    hi, sexuality is very fluid:you can be happy if you are gay or not gay;just relax, step back and let your inner spirit guide you: it would do the trick for you

    Reply to ibticem
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  • straight girls never have feelings for another girls
    never fantasize about other girls
    never have dreams about them
    never consider them *a romantic partner*
    never feel the urge to kiss girls
    its this simple.

    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Comment

      Not really... You should look up the Kinsey scale. I know straight girls who are curious or just have random dreams about hooking up with girls etc. it's not black and white at all. There are some gay girls who end up in a heterosexual relationship and vice versa.

      Instead of trying to label ourselves we should see who we emotionally and physically connect with.

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  • i think we should hire a consultant, that would be useful for all of those who feel confused .. well, i don't know about admins budget, but i'm offering my help anyway *if you consider a pharmacist liable for consultantion* lol

    Reply to Amira_Salah
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