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The "when did you know that you're gay?" question.

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I haven't come out to many people yet, but out of all the annoying questions you get asked when you come out, this is the most annoying one.
I have seen many people using "how did you know that you're straight?" as an answer. But let's face it: a straight person who won't accept you as LGBT will always think of themselves as the rule and of you as the exception no matter what. They will never think of your case as the same or as close to theirs at all.
I have asked myself numerous times just WHEN? HOW? did I "know"? Was there a specific time? a reason, perhaps? anything?
After some time, I realized I only knew I was bi when I realized what straight is, and that it's not what I am. That not all girls feel the way I feel about girls at all they don't see the possibility of being in a relationship with a girl just as much as the possibility of being with a guy, they don't. That's not what straight is and only when I looked around me and found out it's not just me that I realized hey, bisexual , that's something I can relate to, that's me and there's nothing wrong with that (I got to the religion forbidding it part later on, it was shocking)
So, in the end I realized I was bi when I know what straight was, not when I knew what gay was.
I would like to know what you think about this and if you've ever thought about it that way and how do you usually respond to that question or how would you? .

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  • That's so true how straight people assume that straightness is the norm and it shows how ignorant they are of anything outside of their way of existing when they ask the "how did you know" question. I love how your experience was like "oh, this is straightness? F this! i'm not this! i'm bi!" For me it was never a knowing or not knowing my sexual identity, but more like, slowly opening my mind to exploring relationships and attraction with people of other genders besides men. I never felt like I fit in with the norm of "oh you're going to meet a nice arab muslim man and get married." It might have been more because I was a feminist and was sort of repulsed by men's actions and patriarchy, and that led me to be like, oh i don't have to be trapped with only men as an option! There's a whole world of other possibilities out there! I think meeting other queer, gay, bisexual people really helped me see that as a possibility for myself too.

    Reply to femmeprincess
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f4
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    Definitely Also, I think the whole feeling like we don't fit in the whole norm of how marriages and relationships happen here in the Arab countries and feeling like this is not what you want is what pushes us forward to discover our identities and look for possibilities we never thought existed.

    Reply to skyestone
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  • 17-24_f_f_h1_f1
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    i'll never understand why some ppl think that becoming gay is even a choice

    Reply to Plus1
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Experience

    the first time i realised that i'am different was when i dated a guy and wished it was a girl ! i tried so hard to denie that truth even to myself but i couldn't for long so i decided to came out friends first than family , and that question was always there as much as it annoyed me i undrestood cause been straight was all they knew and to be true that was all i knew too till i looked it up and i for one asked my self the same question , so really it shouldn't be that a big of a deal cause it is news to them and i needed to walk them through it as i walked my self

    Reply to girl_next_door
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  • 17-24_f_f_h3_f3
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    Fire back with a "when did you know you were straight?" reply.

    Reply to Delusions
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  • When I realized that a relationship with a guy is not for me, and that it has only been a matter of time for me to stop lying to myself.

    Reply to MissDickinson
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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f3
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    Sometimes the question means "When did you realize you weren't like the other kids and were different?"

    When did you realize you were straight ..haha. good one.

    Reply to Cuddles
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    i remember that i was gay since my brain started memorizing stuffs "5 years old " i realized that im gay at 13 and yeah it was too late .

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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f2
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    Still confused about it

    • 17-24_f_f_h1_f1
      Comment

      ive the same problem with confusion
      it comes and goes and sometimes i feel im 100% lesbian & act on it and sometimes i feel 100% confused.....but i never think im 100% straight or think of males this way
      i don't know if this is just me that feel like that

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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
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    This user has deleted their account.
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  • 17-24_m_w_h4_f3
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    I knew I was gay before even knowing what "gay" means lool

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