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First real crush?

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Okay guys I posted a while ago saying I wasn't certain whether I am straight or gay and here is the thing; I think this is my first real crush! I REALLY like her, I did even before I knew she was gay too but there is a problem she in a middle of a complicated relationship with another girl and she is seeking advice from me on what she should do and although I really want to tell the girl I like to leave her GF because she is using her I also don’t want to be blamed later on for breaking them up; also if I tell her that I like her now it would be too early; I am confused, I am really into her and I need help :( .

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  • 25-34_f_w_h3_f2
    Advice

    Definitely don't tell her you like her yet! Give her time to figure out what's going on between her and her current girlfriend first. For the time being be completely honest with your advice, not your feelings (yet). Put her interests before yours, and she will find that admirable in the future when you open up about that. Take this opportunity to get closer to her but don't flirt yet as it might seem a bit disrespectful of her current situation. When you're there for her, she will realize your support and possibly start developing feelings for you too.

    It's very tempting to move faster than this but patience will work in your favor. Play it safe and you won't be sorry :-)

    • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
      Advice

      Just to echo Reem's comment and to stress that patience is very important in developing the crush into something more.

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    • 17-24_f_w_h1_f3
      Comment

      That is what I have been doing so far, being completely neutral and honest until I see how things will go with her :)

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    • 25-34_f_w_h3_f2
      Comment

      You keep that up and hopefully you'll experience a pleasant surprise :)

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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
    Comment

    how does she act around you? and how often do you speak to each other?

    Reply to 6a3miya
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f3
    Comment

    We're really good friends, and we speak on daily basis.

    • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
      Comment

      then i have a good feeling about this :) i hope you do too. all the signs of a possible relationships are there.

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  • Anything new happen? Is she still with her girlfriend?

    Reply to kuwaitilove
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f3
    Comment

    Yeah, but things are deteriorating between them

    • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
      Comment

      Roo give us the updates =P did you talk to her about your feelings for her yet? If yes how did she react?

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  • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
    Experience

    You're lucky, my first real crush and arguably still my biggest crush is completely committed to her partner who doesn't treat her very well. She deserves much better but she doesn't see it. I wish we were good friends but she probably forgot that I even exist by now.

    Reply to Butterfly
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  • Default-avatar
    Anonymous
    Experience

    I hate crushing on people whose feelings aren't mutual. It is really one of the worst feelings in the world, to feel unloved by someone who doesn't appreciate or love you back.

    • Sorry you're going through this, it sucks. You will find better but only if you yourself believe it too.

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    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Advice

      What kuwaitilove said. I know what you're going through Anon, but believe that there is someone out there who will love you right back and they're the one who are really meant for you.

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    • 17-24_m_w_h4_f4
      Experience

      Sometimes its nice to love from distance, enjoy the single life and try to have some fun.

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  • I definitely agree, don't waste too much time on people who don't feel the same about you. But there's something I want to add (not about the current situation, but more about what might be coming next) I hope that -if she leaves her partner- you don't dive into something too quickly. What I mean is some people don't give themselves quite enough time to process everything and heal after a relationship has ended and from my experience, jumping from one relationship to another without much time in between can be quite much. Give her some time to process and really move on from what she's been through and then let her actively choose you. Don't just be a safe haven after her storm, if you know what I mean
    Best of luck and I really hope that you find someone, be it her or another girl, that treats you the way you deserve to be treated and loves you just much!

    Reply to globetrotter47
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Advice

    Yikes! That sucks. But you know what, you fail to see that you're the same as her. You deserve much better too, so try your best to move along. She may be the biggest crush now but I'm sure you'll have an even bigger crush on someone else who will return your feelings and treat you as awesomely as you deserve!

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  • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
    Comment

    "you fail to see that you're the same as her." I was hoping I'd be better ;) I'd never be in a relationship with anyone who disrespects and takes advantage of me. I respect myself too much for that.

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Comment

    Yea, me too. I just meant that we shouldn't give importance to those who don't give the same to us :)

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  • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
    Comment

    Oh I agree :)

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  • 25-34_f_w_h2_f4
    Comment

    I guess you must let here sense your crush for her and see what will be her reaction ,
    but at the same time put into consideration to withdraw
    if there is be no response from her side , so as not be hurt :) !

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