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am Confused

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It’s hard for me to hide my love for both women and men . I tried so hard to forget about been with gay sine am married man and live my live faithfully to my wife but somehow I’ve sex again with men . honestly that kill me inside and destroy me and I don’t really know what’s to call it ? I really love my wife my kids but I love been with men too , this’s feeling I’ve been hided for some long and it’s grown up inside me every time I cancel all my ID on LBGT website somehow I reactive my ID again . all my time I spend it on website looking for sex or make love, or secret relationship behind close door .
It’s really hard for me to defend myself as straight and deep down there I know am Bi
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