Start a Discussion Find support & help more people

my life cross way

A+ A-

hello brother's and sisters
today i found my self in need to talk and share... and since i have no one else to understand me except you guys ..here i am
am in a crossway....
first lit me Introduces my self , am Mimi am 37 year old, am a transsexual mtf, ( i did't start any Transition yet) and gay.
am a Coward & undetermined & A psychopath person
as many of us i have 2 life's
one life is the out front life is Mr.... who is very respectable working family man.... waif & 3 kids...
the other life is MIMI a gay, crossdresser, who dream about become a transgender , have a boy friend .
both life are very separated
the prob is:
my life goal is to get Immigration state sponsor of homosexuals ( maybe Canada )
and always I tried to Creating conditions to do it.... but all My decisions Was wrong and unsuccessful
what am dealing with now is
wife Skeptical & I think she knew some thing I think she knew
i was planing to have Early retirement, and arrange for the Immigration in secret , and run away ,
now am Afraid from the unknown , will i found LGBT paradise there, dose it worth it, will i lose every thing and end up Suicide again ?
i dont know .....
any idea or help

.

Cancel
  • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
    Comment

    Hello Mimi am Sudanese 37 Y O thank you for sharing and open up you heart . it's was very open and courage for you to talk so openly like this's
    first thing i all most like you two life and wife and kids. but i never try suicide that's serouis iusse you should see a doctor dude. he will help you more than me . i beleive me there no place called gay heaven only on Yahoo chat room LOl . and place there's abit problem yes there you protected by law but this's don't mean you have every guy respect and don't expected .
    what's does your kids made ? have you thought about that ?
    i don't know about you for my i accepted my self and my double life i have life and stoped dreaming about life off my own just for my kids because some dream are not meant to be or not in our life time so i live my life without any regrate and enjoy it and accept myself as Bi dude. all you need to accept yourself deep down there.

    • 35-50_f_b_h1_f4
      Comment

      Thanks dear sudanese for your concern, but I don't think that this is the answer for my misery, sure I care for my child, but i can ignore my feelings and needs, maybe I sound very Self-centeredness or greedy but I tried all my life to be as the community & family want but I failed and I could not keep acting no more, maybe I will broke some harts but am sure that they will survive with out me,

      This was helpful! Flag
    • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
      Comment

      made up your mind and act wisely that's all i can Said

      This was helpful! Flag
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
    Comment

    Hello Mimi am Sudanese 37 Y O thank you for sharing and open up you heart . it's was very open and courage for you to talk so openly like this's
    first thing i all most like you two life and wife and kids. but i never try suicide that's serouis iusse you should see a doctor dude. he will help you more than me . i beleive me there no place called gay heaven only on Yahoo chat room LOl . and place there's abit problem yes there you protected by law but this's don't mean you have every guy respect and don't expected .
    what's does your kids made ? have you thought about that ?
    i don't know about you for my i accepted my self and my double life i have life and stoped dreaming about life off my own just for my kids because some dream are not meant to be or not in our life time so i live my life without any regrate and enjoy it and accept myself as Bi dude. all you need to accept yourself deep down there.

    Reply to Sudanese
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
    Comment

    Hello Mimi am Sudanese 37 Y O thank you for sharing and open up you heart . it's was very open and courage for you to talk so openly like this's
    first thing i all most like you two life and wife and kids. but i never try suicide that's serouis iusse you should see a doctor dude. he will help you more than me . i beleive me there no place called gay heaven only on Yahoo chat room LOl . and place there's abit problem yes there you protected by law but this's don't mean you have every guy respect and don't expected .
    what's does your kids made ? have you thought about that ?
    i don't know about you for my i accepted my self and my double life i have life and stoped dreaming about life off my own just for my kids because some dream are not meant to be or not in our life time so i live my life without any regrate and enjoy it and accept myself as Bi dude. all you need to accept yourself deep down there.

    Reply to Sudanese
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
    Advice

    Hello Mimi am Sudanese 37 Y O thank you for sharing and open up you heart . it's was very open and courage for you to talk so openly like this's
    first thing i all most like you two life and wife and kids. but i never try suicide that's serouis iusse you should see a doctor dude. he will help you more than me . i beleive me there no place called gay heaven only on Yahoo chat room LOl . and place there's abit problem yes there you protected by law but this's don't mean you have every guy respect and don't expected .
    what's does your kids made ? have you thought about that ?
    i don't know about you for my i accepted my self and my double life i have life and stoped dreaming about life off my own just for my kids because some dream are not meant to be or not in our life time so i live my life without any regrate and enjoy it and accept myself as Bi dude. all you need to accept yourself deep down there.

    Reply to Sudanese
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
    Advice

    Hello Mimi am Sudanese 37 Y O thank you for sharing and open up you heart . it's was very open and courage for you to talk so openly like this's
    first thing i all most like you two life and wife and kids. but i never try suicide that's serouis iusse you should see a doctor dude. he will help you more than me . i beleive me there no place called gay heaven only on Yahoo chat room LOl . and place there's abit problem yes there you protected by law but this's don't mean you have every guy respect and don't expected .
    what's does your kids made ? have you thought about that ?
    i don't know about you for my i accepted my self and my double life i have life and stoped dreaming about life off my own just for my kids because some dream are not meant to be or not in our life time so i live my life without any regrate and enjoy it and accept myself as Bi dude. all you need to accept yourself deep down there.

    Reply to Sudanese
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
    Advice

    Hello Mimi am Sudanese 37 Y O thank you for sharing and open up you heart . it's was very open and courage for you to talk so openly like this's
    first thing i all most like you two life and wife and kids. but i never try suicide that's serouis iusse you should see a doctor dude. he will help you more than me . i beleive me there no place called gay heaven only on Yahoo chat room LOl . and place there's abit problem yes there you protected by law but this's don't mean you have every guy respect and don't expected .
    what's does your kids made ? have you thought about that ?
    i don't know about you for my i accepted my self and my double life i have life and stoped dreaming about life off my own just for my kids because some dream are not meant to be or not in our life time so i live my life without any regrate and enjoy it and accept myself as Bi dude. all you need to accept yourself deep down there.

    Reply to Sudanese
    This was helpful! Flag
  • 35-50_m_a_h2_f2
    Advice

    Hello Mimi am Sudanese 37 Y O thank you for sharing and open up you heart . it's was very open and courage for you to talk so openly like this's
    first thing i all most like you two life and wife and kids. but i never try suicide that's serouis iusse you should see a doctor dude. he will help you more than me . i beleive me there no place called gay heaven only on Yahoo chat room LOl . and place there's abit problem yes there you protected by law but this's don't mean you have every guy respect and don't expected .
    what's does your kids made ? have you thought about that ?
    i don't know about you for my i accepted my self and my double life i have life and stoped dreaming about life off my own just for my kids because some dream are not meant to be or not in our life time so i live my life without any regrate and enjoy it and accept myself as Bi dude. all you need to accept yourself deep down there.

    Reply to Sudanese
    This was helpful! Flag

Hall of Fame