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How far have you come?

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I was a bit of a late bloomer coming out at 21 years of age and looking back, coming out has been the hardest thing I've done till now. For me, it didn't end at accepting my homosexuality and saying that I was gay out loud. It was a journey that lasted about three years.

Like I didn't have enough issues, I had to be gay as well. There was so much shame that I had to overcome, that kept being reinforced by continued rejection and a low self-esteem that prevented me from doing what was good for me. I formed a dependence on the first person that was like me and tearing myself away from the negativity that entire situation created was an absolute nightmare.

Throughout the entire thing, I went from being overwhelmed, to being idealistic, to being humbled and now my sexual identity really doesn't mean much to me. Sure my heart beats faster whenever I casually mention my girlfriend or that I'm gay for the first time, but over all it's just one fact about me. I've finally accepted myself and all that comes along with being me.

Now, I'm exploring other parts of myself. I'm surprisingly ambitious. I'm a bitch sometimes and I'm so cute. Like, legit cute, you know what I'm saying? I don't care whether I have gay friends or not. People are people and I want to be surrounded by those who care about me and are amazing, whatever their sexuality.

There's so much to us than being gay (or bi, trans etc), but that one little thing defines so much of our life because of where we live that we lose ourselves in how we label our sexuality and we forget that there's more to us than that. We forget that that will not be the only bad thing to happen, that good things can come out of this weird life we're stuck in.

But that's my journey. Whether you've recently come out or have been out for a while, how have you changed? How far have you come?

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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
    Experience

    i've come far since coming out the most liberating experience of my life but huge price to pay for me: my family. they still do not accept me being gay and i knew i could just lie to them about it and live comfortably without any issues but it didnt feel right. one day i just told them. i was in early to mid teens. i knew very early i was a lesbian. before i even had any experience with anyone or any relationship. i wanted to prepare them for it when i did have a relationship, instead of them finding out the hard way. sadly it just didnt work out the way i wanted or needed it to. but i dont regret it. i am who i am and this is my life that i just need to accept. would rather live alone than with homophobes who make me feel anything less than perfect.

    i really feel for anyone who is closeted out there because its super tough to handle all that pressure in secrecy.

    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Comment

      You are really brave! I took the decision to keep my sexuality a secret because I know that my parents can't handle it. Sometimes I fantasize about them finding out or me telling them and they being alright with it. If only. It's lonely knowing that when the time comes, which I know it will, I will be alone. You're right it does get lonely and I'm so glad that you found the strength to face them.

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  • i did not come out, but my family fond out i was dating a girl . they thought of homosexuality as a satanic thing and they told me to pray and ask Allah for forgiveness , and of corse they took my phone and faceboo account . I startaed praying , and my mother forgave . Thay don't know i am lesbian and i will never change

    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Comment

      It's so sad when parents play the religion card. It only destroy's the faith instead of building it. I'm sorry you went through that but I also hope that you are wiser for it and know how to proceed in the future. Thank you for sharing!

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