For a few years now, I've had certain beliefs about religion and spirituality etc etc. I'm a lesbian, and obviously as some of you know and maybe experienced, that's typically not a really good combination in the Middle East haha.
To be honest, I reached a point in my life now where I just can't do anything about what I believe in and who I am. Because I have tried to change my beliefs and my sexuality for the pleasure of my society and to fit in well with others. But now.. after spending so much time on my own trying to find myself, I got really tired of trying to change. I just can't and I don't want to care about what others are going to think.
My parents and I are very different. We have different views on homosexuality, religion, equality, nationalism, racism, etc etc the list goes on, and that's one of the reasons why I feel trapped and hopeless a majority of the time. Then there's people at school who are just so shallow in so many different ways, and it really makes me feel like I'll never be able to fit in. And I don't strive to anymore.
And it really is a battle. For all of us and what we go through. Mind you, I do respect all of your beliefs, it's your personal opinion and I have no right to change that.
But it's difficult, I don't know if I should care anymore or not. I know I don't, but there's this outer pressure people push onto you, till you're almost forced to. And it's something we see daily, things we're unconscious of. The sexism -towards both genders- the casual throws of using sexuality as an insult, and this expectation of marriage and a family -which I personally don't aim for- and so many other things.
I don't really know what the point of this is, I just want to clarify that if there are people who are suffering from similar things, and I'm sure there is, because we all suffer from different things, there are people who understand.
There're several problems in the Middle East, and to be honest, as optimistic as I try to be.. it doesn't look like they'll be fixed anytime soon, but here's to hoping that one day we'll be able to change this.
If there's anyone who needs a person to talk to, I'm here.
Good luck everyone!