Yesterday, I had a fight with a close male friend of mine, on WhatsApp, no less.
This guy right here is one of the few who know about my bisexuality, and one of the many people who are so ignorant about the struggles of queer people to the point where I broke in tears over how oblivious he is.
I was telling him about how I always have to listen to his whining when it comes to his girlfriend, but when I talk about about the girl I love -who does not, unfortunately, return my feelings-, he dismisses me in a degrading, trivializing, unhelpful manner, saying how it was ‘my choice’, completely missing the point of my pain, and more importantly, offending me.
While I am hurt over how she became uncomfortable with me in general after I’d confessed to her, my pain comes from a struggle with my identity, and a lack of understanding and empathy from his part; someone who is supposed to be a close friend.
It bothers me how he’s the only one I can talk to about her, and yet feel in utter misery after I do.
I would have expected that he would search on the subject the moment I've came out to him, that he would show greater support beyond mere fetishizment of ‘lesbian sex’, but no, he didn't.
Perhaps I am expecting too much, and perhaps I just want attention, but this little argument here had me thinking: if those were the people supposedly showing us support and acceptance, then what about the people who deny our existence and our rights? How are they like?
They all expect you to explain to them. They all outwardly show care, perhaps thinking it’s a faze, while falling short on actually helping us, by at least looking up what our sexual orientation mean instead of lazily and carelessly questioning us about it, as if we’re not valid enough.
It’s just that I find myself constantly let down by the Heterosexual Ignorance concerning our issues.
By Heterosexual Belittlement of our struggles.
Heterosexual Tardiness and Entitlement.
And yet I continue to have hope, that there are people out there who are ready to light the stage for us, and sit with the audience in the dark and listen to what we have to say, instead of jumping over our words and tearing them, instead of attacking our opinions and our identities with barely concealed dislike and worse, malice.
I hope that they will help us gain a louder voice, not speak over it. That they will help us become more accepted by defending us behind our backs, by dismissing harmful stereotypes and standing behind us, not ahead of us, and not even next to us, because this movement isn't theirs, and it’s not validated by their approval. .