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Moving out.. should I?

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I’m contemplating moving out of my parents house, I can finally afford to (just barely) and I’ve been financially independent for a few years now, paying rent to my parents and contributing to the household expenses and such..

I’m not out to my parents, but I think they know (I mean they must know!), I’ve always been vocal about not wanting to get married, not being attracted to men, not wanting to have children and I’ve hinted here and there about the possibility of moving out someday, but it was always “someday” never today, and I was always told that I could not afford to and that I’m bad at managing my money.. Now that I’m older, I feel like it’s finally time to move out..

But I’m not sure how to tell my parents? how do I approach this topic? how can I make them understand that moving out to live on my own does not mean that they are bad parents, or that I hate them or that I want to break the family apart.. how can I convince them that this is about me living my life? how can I rationalise this to them?

I come from a relatively liberal Jordanian household, my parents are both agnostics, but they are both very traditional when it comes to family, they care about honour, they care about how our family appears to society, they believe that a woman should be independent, that she should work, that she should be able to wear what she wants, that she is equal to a man BUT she should also be home by 110!

I grew up with a lot of paradoxes and so it’s hard for me to figure out how to approach this?

Any advice? any women out there living independently? .

  • 25-34_f_w_h3_f2

    You sound like me! I feel like it's my story. I'm in the same position, capable of moving out financially, but questioning the burden it would cause them, emotionally. I know they will assume I hate them or want to distance myself from them, but rather that this is a natural progression of life and at some point they have to let go.

    The other thing is the societal limitations of doing these things. They always ask, "don't you worry about our reputation?"

    It kills me. I don't know what to do. I have the money. I have the will. I'm so eager to move out because it'll be easier for me to date and spend way more time with my girlfriend. I'm just sad I have to deal with all the challenges that come with that decision.

    After years of going back and forth I opted to stay, at least for now. If anything, at least I gain more by saving more money and traveling more often, or treating myself to some nice gifts that's the only perk that keeps me going for now, but if I had it my way, I'd be moving OUT immediately.

    Sadly I have no advice since I'm also stuck, but would love to hear the thoughts of others


    Reply to Reem
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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2

    move out, both of you, you need the space and your own independence. its important to build your own identity away from home and the distractions of living there. i guess its easier for me to say ive been living alone for a real long time since my family kicked me out for being gay but its the best thing to happen and it helped my relationships also when im living alone. so much privacy and you need that. if you can afford it do it and just explain to your family that its good for you to have your own space to build your career and focus on yourself. at first get them used to the idea by not being home much so they dont get a shock when you leave.

    Reply to skyflake
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  • 25-34_f_w_h3_f3

    Thank you both for sharing your story, it really means a lot to hear from people who have been in and are going through the same situation that I am. I still plan to move out, I guess right now I’m trying to figure out the right way to break the news to them.. will keep you posted.

    Reply to Mela_
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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4

    moving out can be fun for the first few months but it can be incredibly lonely if youre not the social type. its also a really big responsibility and youd need to constantly take care of house and chores and all this. i couldnt wait to move out and then i found myself spending weekends at home so i can sleep in and be lazy and not worry about dishes or laundry :P i dont know if its a different thats im a guy

    Reply to 6a3miya
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  • 17-24_f_f_h1_f1

    only u can decide if u r ready for this step or no but for a choice like this in arab world we must take enough time to be sure and not be hasty its not easy for girls here

    Reply to Plus1
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