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LGBT - Does our life is going to be horrible when we are getting old?!

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Dears,

I would to share you my sad feeling when I look at my future.

I am a gay guy and I do have a boy friend for 5 years so far, we both adore each other, and cannot live without each other, we have shared everything together, traveled around the world together....Just amazing and extremely life...I wish we still like that forever.

My biggest problem and what makes me sad is that I am not only gay guy, I am also bisexual, I have dated few girls before I know my BF..But now, when I see my strait friends I got very jealous and sad because I also do not have a girl in my life...I wanna kiss and hug my sweet girl also in the street ...But, when I am unable to do that I get sad and sad.

Another problem is that I am thinking of :

When my BF and I got old and old..are we going to live alone?
Am I sure that nothing wrong could happened leads us to break our relation?
Are we going to have the same feeling of having sex together as we were younger?
Am I or my BF going to look at younger guys for dating?
We both as the same age, I wish I could die before him, but if he died before me, Am I going to be alone? I cannot live alone at all for even one day.

I am Egyptian person from a religious family, and they know nothing about my sexual orientation...And I will never tell them, because they will die.

My family, particularly my mother keep pushing me to marry and telling me that is the only dream in her life for me before she also died....I wish I could make her happy, I adore my mother and all my family and they also adore me very much.

Honestly, I would like to marry for few things:
This will make me 100% happy.
Will make me and my BF not living alone even when we get old.
Will make my family happy too.

But, again, I cannot do any of these because my BF doesn't want me to merry or even to have any other relations with anyone.

Please note, my BF is European and all his family and friends know how much we love and adore each other...
In my side, neither my friends nor my family know anything about me..this is why I do happy another complete secret life...I am sure you ''reader'' understand how it feels..

What I wish to have is that my BF understand my feeling and to agree that I marry from whether a strait or lesbian girl who can understand our live and we all live a happy life and looking forward to make all our dreams comes true.

My apologies for the long write, But I can tell you...I have nobody else to complain to, but here...and I wish somebody could help me, which I do not know how.

Thanks

.

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  • adam .. you have to make a choice .. life is not fair my friend , we can not get everything we want .. you want to marry to have a girl in your life or to make your family happy ?.. if it is the first , as u said your bf won't accept any kind of open relationship -that's his right by the way - so just live everyday with him and enjoy it , don't be that greedy .. no one knows what will come in the life
    if it is the second, so yo are in a situation that most of LGBTQ are in our society , you need to explain the whole situation to your bf , and even if you get married , it gonna be a camouflage marriage.
    what i want to say , being in a relationship required a loyalty between the members .. if u gonna take any step .. ur bf must agree on it .. the same for him too

    Reply to hema_هيما
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    Hi Hema, thank you my friend for your response.....I hear what you say and understand that life is unfair and we cannot get everything we want...but why cannot we get something if we are able!....I do not want only to marry to get my family happy, it is also for my own happiness, I see it will make me happy too especially when my bf and I get older..,,but as you said my bf won't unfortunately accept, he only wants me...
    Hema, as I explained I do adore my bf and I am enjoying every moment in our life....but out of my hand that something makes me internally so unhappy when I look to our life in future with all the risk that we will have...I would apply my mind and act now, so that my bf and I have a happy life until we die...If it is my choice, I would die before him.

    * You called me greedy...let me tell how how much I am suffering and let me know if you still see me that greedy person ...

    --- I have zero Egyptian friends...the reason that I cannot just tell my friends that I am gay or bi...you know the community in Egypt--- All my current friends are my bf's friends, not really mine...I sacrificed by leaving my friends that I adore just to be with my bf..

    --- My family know nothing about me, and because I live with my bf I had to tell them that I am abroad , that makes me very unhappy and lair person , I am always missing them, and deeply crying from inside, and no one feels it, but me and only me..I am missing few occasions and good moments together ...and this is just because I cannot get away from my bf even for one day...I die immediately without him..

    --- My work colleagues, and managers all over the world, permanently asking me about my partner, and I had to lie by saying I still have not met the one..!!....I am doing that because I adore my bf again..

    ---keeping myself away from dating girls, although many times I feel I wanna do it....But I just cannot because I will look bad to myself...and this is also because I adore and respect my bf...

    I do not want to write too much but briefly, I gave everything to my bf....if you look at him, all his friends know our relation including his family, also his work colleagues knows about us...he is not passing with any of the challenges that I have....

    If you put all these facts in front of you, I do not think you would call me greedy anymore...All what I want is really easy..to secure all my life with love and respect and happiness ..Does it mean I am greedy person?

    • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
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      Greedy isnt a right word. You need to understand that you BF wish to remain monogamous and there is absolutely no guarantee that when you will grow old your children or your wife will look after you. They may well leave u alone. Just think that your bf is somewhere thinking that my significant other is sleeping with another women! I mean really? You have to take responsibility for your relationship and your life! living a double life like is extremely tough!. I know you seem to have a lot of hurdle but then almost all of the Egyptian guys do as well! your not alone! Be brave...step up...u need to...if u want a live a happy. complete life

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      My friends, I still feel unhappy

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    • 17-24_m_b_h3_f3
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      Adam whats wrong? If you are bi, then u have the potential to sleep with a girl and enjoy her and let her enjoy yoj have kids and be a happy family...pleas kindly make the effort to explain what iws making you sad. You can either pm me or wrie here. I can try to help but I wud ask u to find a professional concellor if there is any availability.

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      HI Sadisbad, we can PM each other. Unfortunately, I am still the same

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