I am a 19 year old college girl form Egypt.
My problem started 9 months ago when I started having a crush on my bestfriend.
All my life I've been attracted to guys! but i never wanted a typical marriage. I've had crushes on lesbian to characters and i was always Pro LGBT Rights although i was straight or at least i thought so.
Suddenly 9 months ago i started noticing an attraction to my bestfriend! I always wanted to be around her, i get agitated when she touches me...i feel butterflies when i look into her eyes, and i miss her all the time! So i realized that I'm in love with her.
I started hinting that I am attracted to girls. When ever we're talking about hot celebrities i always mention girls and how hot i think they are. i even discussed LGBT issues with her...she respects my opinion but doesn't agree with me.
I know i should forget about her in order not to ruin our friendship, but now i when i imagine my future i always Imagine it with a girl. although i am attracted to guys i would rather be with a girl.
As i live in a very conservative society, i cant meet gay girls and i cant seem to get over my bestfriend
I need Help, I dont know what to do!