I started to travel a lot this year, recently went for long visits to Europe on a "human rights" event, and I assumed that the participants (who were from all over Europe, I was the only non European) shared the same ideas, but as soon as the official event was done, which focused on sexism and other problems in the middle east and developing countries, and kept postponing other problems in Europe..
I'm agnostic, a feminist, I never deny the problems we have..but I've always researched about all over the world, so I know more than anyone what every single country, in every single continent goes through, in detailed statistics on a daily basis.. And when I traveled I lived in the real normal conditions in those countries, not as some rich tourist..And I was mentally prepared for the sh*t that I was going to see, (and did) there.. it seemed suspicious and ridiculous to me how they said "we don't have problems" for my research that showed the opposite.. In Egypt I've always hated when Egyptians deny the sh*t we go through.. because I believe in loyalty to all earth, and human rights>any country's image..
Same for any country, that I research about and visit, deniers are betrayers of the sufferers of that place.. And those participants were backstabbers to all rights.
We gathered afterwards, they turned out all fake..
they were against women rights, despite being mostly women, blamed me for a sexual harassment at work, they were homophobic to the extreme, justifying hate murder crimes against gay people, racist, and truly hateful..
And I was the quiet, shy woman, I had to say something, I stood up for what I believed in, against 20 bigots..humiliating me and another guy because we're LGBTQ+ .. and then accusing me after the sexual harassment..
Their loud, hateful voices and large numbers were increasing, and my rejection to their hate seemed to anger them more..
It is making me more introverted than I am.. Making finding a friend anywhere, or ever finding love in my life time seems impossible!
It's hard and scary enough that I have to be alone because of this country's laws of hate..
It seems that the whole world is like that, just different hateful approaches.
As if it's not enough the amount of fear and loneliness that I've always had in Egypt, but to feel the hate in other places as well.. is just too much.
I feel alone, and betrayed.. simply because I chose to defend myself and others..