Meeting people
Long story ahead. So I have had two relationships with people of the same sex and one with a guy. I can't say all of these were emotionally rewarding, especially with one being an unrequited crush on a classmate (still a relationship, just not what I was hoping for), one being long-distance and ending bitterly, hugs and cuddles being as far as I've got with the last one, I broke it off. Now, the long and short of this is that I wish I can find a safe enviorment to meet new people. Too much to ask for, especially here, but I do tire of this miserable state. Should I just give it up?
Edel
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Wow this is really reminiscent of my past relationships. An unrequited crush on a guy followed by a relationship that was both long-distance and hugs and cuddles (with a girl, that is). I'm always telling my friend that there is no place for me to meet girls I could go out with because:
a) I find it difficult to trust people online so meeting someone online seems very unlikely.
b) My social circle is very limited and will remain so for sometime.
c) Everyone I know is straight.
So at the moment I've just stopped looking. There's someone out there for all of us, and when we're supposed to meet them we will. It can be anywhere and at any time. Be patient and please don't give up!
kuwaitilove
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I have similar problems. I am a bit overprotective of myself and of my identity making online meetups not very likely but still not out of the question. Every now and then I come across someone I feel is special enough to meet. Sometimes you regret not getting to know someone, and sometimes you regret getting too close to someone. You never find out until you try. All of them are experiences I learned a lot from. Patience is really key, but also don't go crazy meeting everyone just for the sake of it, because not everyone is worth the sacrifice or the energy.
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Sign UpEdel
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I'm really going to keep that in mind. Especially the last part. I think by the end of the day I'm really just afraid of allowing myself to meet people I could date. Being gay in a society where homosexuality is considered a crime doesn't help one bit.
Dating here entails we hide and lie to those nearest and dearest to us just so we can lead a semi-normal life and maintain our freedom to love- as far as everyone else is concerned anyway.
Well, regardless, I'll give it a chance and match your attitude; they're all experiences I can learn from, good or bad.
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Sign Uppi-chan
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same problem here too .... only difference that ill turn 21 in 1 month and i have NEVER had someone , mostly because im afraid (well DUHH!!) and .... well, i dont want someone who is just looking for sex , needless to say more ofc ,i mean , did u see all those accounts on facebook with pps of certain body parts and their status updates range from "im bored , who wants to 'chat' " to "if u have a camera contact me now" .... i get disgusted and lose hope that there might be some genteel gay out there ,that is reachable and not a total sell-out
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Sign Upkuwaitilove
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pi-chan of course there are :) I felt the same way you did for a long time until I started meeting people who were amazing for me. You are still young and there will be a lot of opportunities for you to meet people. I know it sounds silly but it's true what people say, that you only find the person you're looking for when you stop looking and just do what you love, you'll find them eventually through that. It might take months, it might take years, but it will happen! Don't lose hope. If you don't live the life you love it will be hard for someone else to get involved in it, so be kind to yourself and others will surely find you.
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Sign Upramyahmed
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@Pi-chan, you remind me of myself 2 years ago when I tried the exact same thing lol. I joined a couple "date sites" in the middle east and tried on facebook but all I found was mostly fake accounts (ofcourse they were, what was I thinking), or as you said cam and that shit. I got disgusted too and lost hope. I got depressed because of this, why go through this just to know someone? It's really unfair. So I know how you feel you're not alone. :) Kuwaitilove has some good advice but I hope it was as easy as it sounds, some of us are just unlucky. :(
@Oceanic, I'm sorry you're going through this and I know exactly how it feels, personally I have days when I feel I cant go on anymore. What keeps me going, and I know this might sound silly, is I want to make a difference. I hope I can help people like us in the middle east some way or another because no one knows how they feel or what they go through as much as we do, I just dont have the strength to do that right now and I dont think I will until I can finally breath and find support.
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Sign UpRamy that was my experience online too, but it changed when I started joining other sites that weren't about love/relationships and more about politics or music and then people will start liking you for your opinions so that it's not just about sex. The sad thing is that most of the ones on there aren't looking for relationships or aren't gay so I didn't find any, except for one, but they were too far and it didn't work out.
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Sign UpSamir82
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No, you shouldn't give up. We all get tired of waiting for the right person or the right moment with a person, but these things happen without you even waiting. There isn't just one place where you can expect to meet your next love interest. This person can be anywhere. I met my current boyfriend and my ex's in the most unlikely places and unusual situations, often right after terrible breakups when I felt I was going to be single forever. It just happened and it resulted in very healthy and longterm relationships with amazing people.
I know because of where we are it seems impossible to look in the right direction to find the right people for us to be with, but just have confidence in your abilities to spot a great friend that can potentially be more than that, and don't ever limit yourself to where you can find this person because they really can be anywhere.
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Sign UpReem
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I'd have to share the frustration in how difficult it is to meet new people, it seems to be easier depending on work and school environments, though I'd consider neither to be safe places to look. Online spaces have worked for me in the past, but only if the person is in the same country for us to meet offline on a regular basis to build an actual relationship. Either way finding the right person is hard! Never considered giving up though, and not about to start now. I agree with Edel that there's someone out there for all of us.
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Sign Upskyflake
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the problem is we have to be careful where we are. i am very paranoid about the kinds of people out there who could oust us or get to know all kinds of information about us and then blackmail us with this information. there are instances where this happens. not just with homosexual couples but with heterosexual ones as well, where people here threaten to release nude photos or sex tapes which is terrible but even more dangerous in our case where it could get us easily killed or imprisoned.
as gay people we need to have an extra set of eyes to watch out for ourselves. personally speaking i'd rather be lonely than in the hands of a possible criminal whom i've met and confided in out of boredom or desperation.
i don't want to scare anyone, but these things happen often enough for us to be more and more cautious about where we go and who we speak with. be careful is all i'm saying.
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Sign UpJoon
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I have the same experience as Saudi_a with regards to meeting women. Offline I am not confident enough to do anything but stare, and all the ones I know personally are straight and don't know about my sexuality. Online is okay but it takes a lot of effort to know who to trust and where to go for the best contacts. It's easier to hide the relationship online than offline.
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